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Dave Barry's Blog

• BECAUSE THEN HE'D BE IMPOSSIBLE TO IDENTIFY

  Authorities said a man who escaped from the back of a police car tried to gnaw off his fingerprints.

  (Thanks to  Lani)

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• ADVISORY

  Don't Watch 3D TV While You're Drunk

  (Thanks to The Perts)

  
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• IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE, THE OTHER SUPERYACHT OWNERS WILL LAUGH AND CALL YOU NAMES

  As underwater technology advances, private submersibles are becoming an essential part of any superyacht’s equipment.

  (Thanks to catmanmax)

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• THERE IS NOTHING LOWER

  Man on mower charged with DUI, fishing pole theft

  (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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• A GRATEFUL WORLD REJOICES

  The world's largest banana museum has been saved.

  (Thanks to Siouxie)

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• 'BY MISTAKE.' RIGHT.

  Man leaves mother-in-law in car park by mistake on day trip

  (Thanks to Siouxie and Jeff Meyerson)

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• MAYBE HE NEEDED AN EMERGENCY HAMBURGER

  Authorities in Pakistan have suspended a local doctor who was caught taking a cow home from market in an ambulance, officials said Monday.

  (Thanks to Ralph)

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• IN THE INTEREST OF SENSITIVITY AND TASTE

  ...we cannot link to this.

  (Thanks to Olo Baggins of Bywater)

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• YOU KNOW YOU HAVE AN IMAGE PROBLEM

  ...when you lose your jerky sponsor.

  (Thanks to Vampire Penguin)

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• CSI: ATHENS

  Athens police said they have arrested a door-to-door meat salesman who swallowed a half-burned marijuana joint as they watched.

  (Thanks to queensbee)

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