WORK/LIFE BALANCING ACT
Bad boss? Don't explode
Losing your cool never helps, especially in this tight economy. Advice from the experts can help you go beyond coping to actually thriving.
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BY CINDY KRISCHER GOODMAN
cgoodman@MiamiHerald.com
Did you buy your boss a gift last Friday for National Bosses Day? Does the idea of that repulse you?
In this tough economy, more of us are -- at least for now -- locked into our jobs, for better or worse. And what can be worse that having a bad boss? Our boss is the single greatest determinant of happiness at work and the person who most affects our ability to balance work and life. A bad boss can make you sick, and likely you will take frustrations home and anyone living with you will suffer, too.
If you haven't heard, the recession has exacerbated the bad boss problem because a drop in head count has thrown underqualified bosses into the job and at the same time more bosses are worried about their futures. Studies show bosses who feel insecure or who are in over their heads are more likely to bully their subordinates.
So how do you survive a criticizer, a yeller or power-hungry boss without having a mental breakdown? And how do you speak up to the boss to get the accommodations you need or some of the work taken off your plate at a time when job security is a real concern?
Twenty-one-year-old Daniel Jurado of Miami is still an intern at a public relations firm, but already he knows a good boss from a bad one. A bad boss, he says, is someone you fear. ``There's no room for being creative because you're always scared,'' he says. Conversely, he says, a good boss listens and encourages. ``That person is behind you, pushing you in a good way.''
Most of us don't want our boss' job, and we aren't particularly thrilled with how our superior is navigating bad times. Only 14 percent of workers have more respect for what their boss does every day since the recession began, according to a new American Workplace Insights Survey. And more than half don't think their boss is honest with them.
To find out how to cope with a bad boss, or improve a relationship in these difficult economic times, I went to the experts. Here are their suggestions:
Confront the situation. Most of us, unsure of the best way to handle a difficult boss and fearful of losing our jobs, avoid contact or stay silent during meetings. Bob Nelson, author and motivational expert, suggests employees do the opposite. Instead of avoiding your boss, ask to meet with him or her and talk about a problem in a positive way to come up with a solution together.
``Don't be a victim, rise above it and get your manager on your side.'' This works, Nelson says, especially when the boss feels that coming up with a solution together will be to his or her benefit.
Compliment the boss. When your boss is a jerk, the last thing you want to do is praise him or her. But is there anything he or she does worthy of a thank you?
``Find something to acknowledge and recognize your boss for,'' Nelson suggests. Yes, we know that most workers feel our boss should recognize us for what we do, but not all do. ``To improve any relationship, you have to meet halfway by going 90 percent,'' explains Nelson, who wrote Keeping Up in a Down Economy: What the Best Companies Do to Get Results in Tough Times. ``By calling the boss out for something they did right for you, that will register with them.''
Counteract overload. When the head count has been cut and the boss piles work on you, resentment may strain your relationship. Doug Arms, chief talent officer of Ajilon Professional Staffing, suggests that instead of taking on work and complaining to whoever will listen, calmly show the boss what you already are working on now and ask him to tell you what's most important to get done.
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