Q: A year ago, I joined a small company as its first marketing director. Unfortunately, the owner seems to view my role as more tactical and administrative than strategic. He never includes me in planning meetings or strategy sessions. I assumed that building a marketing function from scratch would be a valuable learning experience that could strengthen my résumé, but so far I'm only doing routine tasks. How can I encourage my boss to involve me at a higher level?

A: Instead of angling for a meeting invitation, go back to square one and have a basic discussion with your boss about goals and expectations. Lacking experience in marketing, he probably has no conception of your potential contributions. To communicate your value clearly, draft a projected work plan and review it with him.

Once he has signed off on your goals, explain how involvement in the planning process will be critical to accomplishing them. Then suggest that you attend the next strategy session.

On the other hand, if your boss seems to have absolutely no interest in using the full range of your talents, then your planning may need to include another career move.

Q: No one at work seems to like me. I usually keep to myself, because my co-workers never act very interested. When I do try to communicate with them, I get a lot of odd reactions that seem fake. I'm sick of all these people who apparently feel they have no faults.

Management talks about employees being ``family,'' but that's a complete crock. My co-workers never act as though they care about me, so why should I care about them? After being stuck here for four years, sometimes I just want to give up. And I'm tired.

A: The fact that you're tired is no surprise. Feeling hurt, resentful and angry for eight hours a day can be exhausting. It's also a complete waste of emotional energy.

If this is the first time you've felt isolated at work, you may have wandered into a toxic organization. But if the pattern seems familiar, then the problem may originate with you.

Your aloofness and pessimistic assumptions could easily create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

To break this vicious cycle, you need to recognize that any change must begin with you. Since you can't force co-workers to change their behavior, you must modify your own.

If you can stop dwelling on negative feelings, you may find that your co-workers will reciprocate. But if breaking this pattern proves to be too difficult, consider talking with a professional counselor.

Marie G. McIntyre is a workplace coach. Ask questions at www.youroffice

coach.com.

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