Where do singles mingle?
JILL BAUER
As much as we all hate to admit it, our mothers are always right. When it comes to advice about meeting that special someone, my mom has often told me that ``it's not the when, it's the who.''
But if you are single and you live in South Florida, the first thing you ask yourself is not ''When?'' or ''Who?'' It's ''Where?'' Where's the best place to meet that better half?
Before setting out to explore all the options in the Magic City and environs, we called Ian Kerner, renowned sex therapist and the author of several books on relationships including Be Honest -- You're Not That Into Him Either. A regular contributor to Cosmopolitan and Maxim magazines and host of a weekly Sirius Network call-in radio show on relationships, Kerner is someone we knew would have some answers.
''My advice for meeting someone is stop focusing on dating per se and start thinking of ways that you can develop your sense of self. Take classes, go to wine tastings, go to places where you can start a conversation that's not reduced to a pickup line,'' says Kerner.
``Make yourself as busy as possible so you almost have no time for dating. When people are doing things to develop themselves they are taken into new venues and are re-energized and ultimately we are attracted to people who are energetic and vital and who are expanding themselves.
''I meet so many daters who are stuck in a rut. Don't put yourself into situations where you are looking. Put yourself into situations where you can just start conversations,'' Kerner says.
And with that sage advice, we hit the road looking for fun in all the right places. And we found it. All over South Florida.
Here are some atypical yet exceedingly obvious places where single people, men and women, gay and straight, hang out just to enjoy themselves. Places that require little effort and yield some sort of payoff -- even if Mr. or Ms. Right doesn't immediately appear.
Of course, this list is just a beginning and is certainly not finite.
For that, dear reader, we rely on your feedback and suggestions.
HAVE A HAMMER?
Debbie Mandel, author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul, explains the appeal of meeting at The Home Depot: ``Men are looking for self-reliant women who can fix things and take some of the responsibility off them.''
She adds, ''Some weddings have been celebrated at the Home Depot where the couple originally met.'' Home Depot spokeswoman Sheriee Bowman confirmed this: ``One Indiana couple wed this year in the parking lot of our Fort Wayne store in the exact two parking spaces where they met.''
We visited a Home Depot on a recent Saturday afternoon and spoke to several single customers, including 40-year-old Wolfgang Arias, a reference trade manager at Barnes & Noble who lives in Miami Shores.
''I take salsa lessons to meet women,'' he said, ``but I come here all the time and it would be nice to meet a woman at Home Depot.''
If you've run out of home improvement tasks and need an excuse to be there, check out the website (www.homedepot.com) for weekend do-it-yourself clinic schedules.
THE WRITE ONE
There is literally -- and literarily -- something for everyone at Books & Books' three South Florida stories. We highly recommend stopping by for free live music on Friday nights in the courtyard of the Coral Gables store and Wednesday nights at the Lincoln Road location in Miami Beach. ''When you're meeting someone in a bookstore it allows for a conversation to go in directions where you can learn a lot about each other. It's a conversation about the world of ideas,'' said Books & Books owner Mitchell Kaplan. ``I remember a while back there was some chick lit author speaking at the store and like 45 women showed up and only two guys. The guys were there because they knew it'd be an event attended by women.''
For a list of events, visit www.booksandbooks.com or call 305-442-4408.
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