The attempted reinvention of Mike Tyson, carefully calculated and months in the planning, launches in the south of France this week with the debut of a sympathetic documentary about him at the Cannes Film Festival.
RANDOM EVIDENCE OF A CLUTTERED MIND
Former Patriots videographer Matt Walsh has turned over more ''Spygate'' evidence to the NFL and is to meet on Tuesday with commissioner Roger Goodell.
IN MY OPINION
Amazing things are swirling around the local baseball franchise. Miami began to behave like a major-league city by finally approving funding for a new stadium after years of starts, stalls and stops.
He looks like a coach. He might be a younger player's dad. He has been doing this -- demonstrating big-league baseball done right -- since most of his Marlins teammates were in grade school.
I wish animals could speak our language, even understanding the risk that our pet dogs would bore us to madness with the nonstop declarative, ''Feed me!'' I prefer to imagine a more intelligent dialogue. Think Brian the dog on TV's Family Guy. Or, for the higher-minded, Boxer the heroic horse from Orwell's Animal Farm.
Have you noticed? Those signs are starting to come down. All over South Florida, on roads and highways leading to our stadiums and arenas, those signs that read ''Welcome to Loserville'' are being replaced with new ones that read ``Welcome to Thingsarelookinguptown.''
RANDOM EVIDENCE OF A CLUTTERED MIND
The Kentucky Derby is known for mint juleps and fancy hats and a history of heartwarming stories such as the Sackatoga Six, those blue-collar buddies who hit it big with Funny Cide, or the charming tale of Smarty Jones.
MIAMI DOLPHINS
The moving on and getting past began Friday in a way both tangible and symbolic. Dolphins were on a football field again for the first time since the mess that was last season ended. However far the road back to respectability proves to be for this beaten franchise, mark this day as the first step.
Pat Riley never did an online chat. Don Shula didn't know from laptops. Could anyone picture Jack McKeon putting down his cigar long enough to text-message?
Sidled up to Fredi Gonzalez outside the Marlins' batting cage a couple of hours before Tuesday night's ballgame and asked the manager to help me figure something out. I wanted to know what you want to know.
BASKETBALL
Pat Riley, the man who made the Miami Heat matter and then made it a champion, broke the news to his players -- maybe to himself, too -- with a story about Forrest Gump.
RANDOM EVIDENCE OF A CLUTTERED MIND
Saturday's first round of the NFL Draft had jaws dropping all across America and was so thoroughly stunning that disbelieving fans and dumbstruck analysts were scrambling to determine whether modern history -- perhaps never to be repeated -- had been made.
Phillip Merling -- the Dolphins' top pick in the NFL Draft on Saturday, not counting the guy you knew about four days earlier -- seemed a bit fuzzy on what he was getting himself into. Joining a team coming off a 1-15 season, that might not be entirely bad. Some people go through years of expensive therapy to disassociate from such trauma.
MIAMI DOLPHINS
You looked around the room where the Dolphins introduced their new No. 1 draft pick Tuesday afternoon, and it made perfect sense that the young man they were introducing was Jake Long, the University of Michigan offensive tackle.
I tried on a medieval suit of armor, but it was hot in there, plus the chain-mail gloves made it too hard to type. I settled instead for a Kevlar vest and a surrounding platoon of those same Chinese bodyguards who have been protecting the Olympic torch. And now with somewhat less trepidation I might finally say the words aloud:
RANDOM EVIDENCE OF A CLUTTERED MIND
The Dolphins' thoughts on whom to draft No. 1 overall might have been inadvertently revealed when general manager Jeff Ireland said the pick would be expected to be ``a pillar of your defense.''
I find myself giddy with optimism, in apparent outright defiance of logic and reason. (Not to mention timing!) I lead the league in feel-good. Still, even after watching Marlins arms battered and bats drowse through a thorough 8-0 loss to the visiting Atlanta Braves on Thursday night.
IN MY OPINION
South Floridians were able to cheer a division-leading, first-place professional sports team at home Tuesday night. Ordinarily, this would not qualify as news, let alone a revelation, but the recent rarity makes it so.
GREG COTE gcote@MiamiHerald.com Damn you, Matt Ryan. Why can't you be just a little bit better? Why can't you be a shade closer to NFL-flawless? Why can't you be an undisputed franchise quarterback of Peyton-esque stature -- a consensus overall No. 1 pick to make all of the mock drafts curtsy and swoon? Here is the problem for Miami as the April 26 draft thunders in:
Damn you, Matt Ryan. Why! Why can't you be just a little bit better? Why can't you be a shade closer to NFL-flawless? Why can't you be an undisputed franchise quarterback of Peyton-esque stature -- a consensus overall No. 1 pick to make all of the mock drafts curtsy and swoon?
