Most Popular Stories

News On The Go

DAVE BARRY GIFT GUIDE

Tattoo Sleeves

JOSHUA PREZANT / FOR THE MIAMI HERALD

$11.88 per pair, plus shipping and handling, from PrankPlace.com, LLC., 206 Murphy Road, Hartford, Conn. 06114, 800-901-1163; www.prankplace.com/ tattoo.htm

Suggested by Stephanie Pluess of London, U.K.

Not long ago, people with tattoos were considered to be low-class sleazeballs. But today, millions of Americans have tattoos. What does this tell us? It tells us that millions of Americans are low-class sleazeballs.

Just kidding! It tells us that tattoos are now considered ''body art'' and have become fashionable with people from all walks of life.

FACT: All nine U.S. Supreme Court justices have the Bill of Rights tattooed on their buttocks.

Perhaps you'd like to get a tattoo, but you've been holding back for some reason, such as that you're not drunk. Or you're worried that when you get old and saggy your tattoo will stretch, so instead of having, say, an arty little butterfly on your shoulder, it will look like you're being attacked by a giant mutant bat.

That's why you need Tattoo Sleeves. These are sleeves that make you look as though you have tattoos all over your arms. Think of the pranks you can play! Like, say you're a non-tattooed college student with strict parents. Imagine how they'll react when you take off your jacket and they see your tattoo sleeves. They'll react by having coronary failure. So make sure your tuition is paid in advance.

Tattoo sleeves fit everyone. They cannot, however, be removed. (Ha ha!)

››Seasoned Shot

 

Join the discussion

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere in the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from personal comments and remarks that are off point. In order to post comments, you must be a registered user of MiamiHerald.com. Your username will show along with the comments you post. Not a registered user? It's Free! Register here. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

Quick Job Search

Enter Keyword(s):
Enter City:
Select a State:
Select a Category:
Search by Category
Advanced Job Search