Dear Advice Diva:
I feel like I'm going through a mid-life crisis. I want a husband. I want children. I even want a white picket fence, for crying out loud! I don't know what's wrong with me; maybe I am just overreacting. I've been lucky enough to be dating one of the very few respectable men left in South Beach for the past three years. He is a wonderful man and treats me very well, so we moved in together. I just really feel that if he loves me that much he should ask me to marry him, already. I mean, it's been three whole years. If he is not sure now, when is he going to pop the question? When I'm over the hill and sporting a Golden Girl 'do? I don't think so!
I am so desperate, I actually marked my calendar and gave myself a deadline. If he doesn't ask in the next two months, I'm out of here! I simply just don't understand it. He has been saying that things have been a little tough at work lately. That may be excusable for now, but come on! We are in love, young and successful; it's perfect timing! What can I do to speedy up these nuptials?
Future Bridezilla
Dear Future Bridezilla:Wanting a husband and children, in our opinion, does not a midlife crisis make. (The white picket fence, well, that we'll reserve comment on.) May we congratulate you on finding a respectable man in Miami -- a dwindling population, indeed -- and a three-year run during which he has not stolen, cheated nor switched teams, as it were. This is all good. Great, in fact. Now you've got to get your man to put a ring on that lonely engagement finger of yours.
How? Move out. Or ask him to. Very politely, very reluctantly, with a few waterworks if you're so inclined. Tell him why: Because you love him too much to continue living with him without a promise of eternal bliss. Because you don't want to get more hurt than you already are when he finds the girl he does want to spend forever with. Because you both deserve to be in a committed (and by this we mean engaged) relationship.
Give him an easy out, and see if he takes it. Make sure he knows how much you love him and want to be with him; you're just not sure if the feeling is mutual. Better to know now than to wait till your big life issues involve hip replacements and shared custody of a Persian named Madame Fluffy.
It's your life, dear. Now go and get it.
