SILENCE

Addams, who was taking female hormones and living as a woman at the time but hadn't yet had surgery (she since has), didn't want her sexual identity to distract public attention from the murder. She kept quiet - a decision she regrets.

"If I could do it over again, I wouldn't let that happen, " she says. "I felt marginalized. And to just say Barry was gay and leave it at that was an oversimplification at best. Barry had only dated women before me. And he considered me and treated me as a woman when he dated me, which was certainly how I saw myself." When Soldier's Girl airs later this spring, her real story will be told. She's seen the movie and loves it.

"I think any change in societal perception of us is going to be glacial, " Addams muses. "But every little melting drop, every little movement we make in the right direction, is important.

"I'm really excited that millions of people are going to have the chance to see empathetic, sympathetic transgender characters. Maybe some of them will say, 'Wow, that's an interesting person. I wish I could know somebody like that.' Maybe it will open a door."

TRANSSEXUALS AT A GLANCE

Nobody is really certain how many people suffer from gender dysphoria, the clinical term for transsexualism. Studies in Scotland and the Netherlands showed about one in every 10,000 biological males had sought treatment for the condition, which experts here say is a good estimate for the United States as well.

No one really knows what causes it, though most researchers believe there's a biological root - perhaps mistimed hormonal releases during fetal development. Therapies range from counseling to hormonal treatment coupled with surgery to create new genitals.

About 1,000 surgeries are performed in the United States each year - mostly to refashion a male body into a female one. Surgery going the other direction is more complex ("it's easier to create a hole than a pole, " as the surgeons like to joke), more expensive (around $100,000 compared to as little as $5,000) and less effective.

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