Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Guest howls over dog’s attendance at wedding

 

Dear Abby: Is it acceptable to bring a teacup-sized dog to a wedding? The excuse was, “Well, the wedding was at the beach.” The pre-dinner and dancing were inside a high-end resort on the beach. The dog was taken inside these establishments.

After a guest — a family member of the dog’s owner — asked the owner to remove the animal because the occasion was not about her and her dog but the bride and groom’s day, the owner put the dog in a carrying case and the dog returned to the wedding for the rest of the night. Only this one couple made an issue of it and they weren’t in the wedding party, but relations of the dog owner. What do you think?

Doggone Disgusted

The rule of etiquette states that nothing should distract attention from the happy couple — and especially the bride — at the wedding. However, IF the dog owner had first asked for and received permission to bring the animal to the festivities, then it wasn’t rude and the relatives of the dog owner were wrong to intervene.

Dear Abby: We were recently at dinner with longtime friends whose political views are different from ours. I believe in the rule of etiquette about avoiding the topics of politics and religion in mixed company. Well, somehow the conversation turned political. Voices were raised and I stood up and ended it.

There are now many hurt feelings with the parties involved still disagreeing about what happened and how it was handled. I know my actions were extreme, but things were out of control and I was upset. How do I deal with this if we are invited to future events?

Keeping the Peace

You may be worrying needlessly, because you may not be invited to future events — at least until the next election is over. Whatever your friends were arguing about, while you had a right to speak up and say it was making you uncomfortable, because your reaction was “extreme,” you may have been as rude as the others. If you caused hurt feelings that evening, you should apologize, if you haven’t already.

Dear Abby: A sibling died recently and I have received numerous sympathy messages in the form of cards, gifts and online posts. Do the people who send them typically expect a response? I feel a little overwhelmed with the amount of attention, and I worry that they’ll think I’m not appreciative if I don’t respond in kind. What is your advice?

Grieving but Grateful

Their kindness should be acknowledged. To those who sent gifts and cards, a short note saying how much their support meant during this difficult time would be a gracious response. The online condolences could be handled with one email “blast” conveying the same thing, which shouldn’t be offensive to those who sent their sympathy that way.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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