Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Sleeve tattoo could raise eyebrows at black-tie event

 

Dear Abby: I’m a young professional female with a military background. I’m well-educated and have a great job. However, I am also tattooed. The design is a tasteful full sleeve, with some work on my chest and other arm.

I will be attending a black-tie affair for my boyfriend’s company and am wondering what attire would be appropriate for such an event. I’m not ashamed of my art, and I have no issue with baring my arms, but would this be acceptable in this circumstance?

Forever covered

I’m glad you asked, because it depends upon what kind of company your boyfriend works for. If it’s creative, then to display your body art would not be shocking. However, if the company culture is conservative, it might attract unwelcome attention, and I don’t recommend it.

Dear Abby: I have been intimately involved with another woman. Our relationship has been great for the past eight months. There is an immense amount of love and caring for each other. Although we have been together, we do not currently live together.

My problem is she’s still living with her ex-husband. They have been separated for 12 years, but circumstances have brought them back into the same residence. I don’t have an issue with their “roommate” situation. I have been to their home, have stayed the night and I’m OK with their arrangement.

What I DO take issue with is him introducing himself as her husband. Since I heard him do that, I have been in an uncomfortable state. Am I wrong for feeling this way, or is she wrong for allowing it to happen?

Seething

Whether this couple has been separated for 12 years or not, they are still legally married. He IS her husband. You may be feeling uncomfortable because you feel like you may be involved in a triangle, and from where I sit, it may be true. It’s time to have a frank conversation with your partner to clarify exactly what your role is.

Dear Abby: I have been trying to plan my son and future daughter-in-law’s rehearsal dinner. The bride originally told me a local pizza place would be fine for the dinner. I insisted that I would like something “nicer,” and she said it was up to me.

I have found a place within budget, but have just learned that the bridal shower is being catered by the same place. Is it acceptable for me to have the rehearsal at the same place?

We live in a town with relatively limited options, and there are other important festivities going on that day that limit my options further. Holding the rehearsal dinner at my house would be too stressful. Would it be OK to have it at the same restaurant, but serve different food?

Future mother-in-law

Absolutely! And congratulations on the forthcoming happy event.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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