Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Woman discovers old flame blew smoke about his past

 

Dear Abby: I recently reconnected with a man I lost contact with 13 years ago. We went out a few times and it was wonderful.

Out of curiosity, I began checking him out online, starting with his mother, who he had mentioned was a surgeon. When I could no confirm that, I started looking up other things. Abby, his mother does not have a medical license, and there are no property records or any record of a marriage license to his second wife.

When I confronted him, he was furious and accused me of not trusting him. He doesn’t want anything to do with me, and I feel heartbroken and guilty. Is it wrong to do background checks on people you date?

Dating man who doesn’t exist

It isn’t wrong to do some checking. In fact, these days it’s common. Please do not waste another minute feeling guilty about this. If he isn’t the person he portrayed himself to be, you may have dodged a bullet.

Dear Abby: When my 7-year-old son loses a game, he loses control. He screams, yells, hits and sometimes bites. Is there a way to stop this behavior?

Losing the battle

When a child is 2 or 3, this kind of behavior is understandable. But by age 7, your son should have learned to manage his frustration more appropriately.

If his poor sportsmanship continues, it will cause problems with his peers. You should discuss this with him BEFORE you play any games with him. Explain that “when we lose, we are given the chance to learn from our mistake.” Athletes use their mistakes to improve their skills.

It might be helpful to impose consequences when your son acts out. If that doesn’t help, have him evaluated by a qualified professional for medical and psychological problems.

Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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