SUPER BOWL 48

Greg Cote’s Super Bowl With a Smirk: Biggest challenge is enduring four consecutive hours of Terry Bradshaw

 

America’s TV audience must get through a four-hour pregame show with too much of Terry Bradshaw before it can finally enjoy the game.

gcote@MiamiHerald.com

The United States in its great history has survived a Civil War, Great Depression, racial divide and terrorist attacks. Now comes America’s next big challenge: enduring four straight hours of Terry Bradshaw on Fox’s Super Bowl Sunday pregame show.

Smirk doesn’t like to over-legislate, but shouldn’t there be a law that a pregame show cannot last longer than the game itself?

When I think of Super Bowl excess, I think of TV as much as anything.

ESPN and NFL Network both have had more than 115 hours of SB-related overanalysis in the buildup to the game.

Fox’s pregame show, broadcasting partly from Times Square and then from the stadium, will offer the usual parade of superfluous stuff having nothing to do with Broncos vs. Seahawks, including:

A feature on Brooklyn-born Vince Lombardi, Bradshaw strolling down Broadway with Joe Namath, a tribute to Pat Summerall, a recitation of the Declaration of Independence by former players and firefighters, and Jimmy Johnson deep-sea fishing in the nude. (OK, I made up that last thing. But the rest of it is true.)

The show also will include a live Bill O’Reilly interview with President Barack Obama.

Taking partisanship to a new level, Republicans are expected to immediately demand equal time and vehemently oppose the president by saying they are not looking forward to a good game.

At last, the Broncos and Seahawks will take the field, and America will erupt as in celebratory cheering.

Not because the game is on.

Because the four-hour pregame show has ended.

• The Heat plays at the Knicks on Saturday night, and players from both teams were expected to swing by Friday night’s GQ Super Bowl party at the top of Manhattan’s Standard Hotel. How great would it be if the bouncer at the velvet rope didn’t recognize LeBron but Mario Chalmers said, “No, it’s cool. He’s with me.”

• Smirk can finally confirm, officially, following a five-day investigation, that it will be cold during the game. And that’s on the record.

• The third annual NFL Honors show is Saturday night at Radio City Music Hall, featuring the naming of the league MVP and other major awards, plus the Pro Football Hall of Fame announcement following private voter deliberations inside the Bob Kuechenberg Disappointment Room. Though not an award winner, Ryan Tannehill is the only current Dolphin scheduled to attend along with his wife. (Aside to Lauren: Radio City Music Hall has a strict no-weapons policy.)

• A second major Saturday event is the Taste of the NFL fundraiser in Brooklyn, where a $700 ticket lets you sample food from chefs from every NFL city. This year, Denver is serving Bison & Pistachio Sausage, and Seattle is offering Skuna Bay Salmon. (Miami, last in the Super Bowl in 1985, is serving Smoked Duck Tartine with a Glaze of Dolfan Tears.)

• Commissioner Roger Goodell delivered his annual state of the NFL address Friday and spoke a lot about concussions and safety initiatives, but it was hard to hear him over the loud snoring of sportswriters.

• The Super Bowl could not start if not for the Highland Mint of Melbourne, Fla., which produces the ornate silver coin with gold highlights used in the pregame flip. Of course, the NFL could use a regular old quarter, but that’d make too much sense.

• An NFL Super Bowl-related community-service initiative went awry Friday when volunteers from rival groups Rebuilding Together and Habitat for Humanity began brawling and berating each other’s newly constructed homes.

• A Super Bowl Celebrity Bowling Classic is Saturday at Chelsea Piers, where dozens of ex-players laboring to bowl will gripe loudly about lack of medical benefits.

• Finally, Smirk signs off for the week with this: Think I’ve seen one too many Super Bowl commercials. Had a nightmare last night in which Betty White was nursing the E-Trade Baby while both rode sidesaddle on a Clydesdale.

Read more Greg Cote stories from the Miami Herald

  •  
Phillies fans show their desire to have Pete Rose inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame Sunday, July 30, 1995, before the start of the Hall of Fame Inductions in Cooperstown, N.Y.

    In My Opinion

    Greg Cote: It’s time to welcome Pete Rose back to baseball

    Twenty-five years ago this week, Pete Rose was banished for life from baseball, and thus from the red carpet ride he would have taken into the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y. Sympathy hasn’t often come his way since, partly because Rose can come off as irascible, unlikable, his own worst enemy — but mostly because he agreed to his ban, with a swipe of a pen trading immortality for indelible notoriety.

  •  
Miami Marlins right fielder Giancarlo Stanton watch from the dugout in the sixth inning of a Major League Baseball game against the Arizona Diamondbacks on Friday, August 15, 2014, at Marlins Park in Miami.

    In My Opinion

    Greg Cote: NL MVP? It’s the Miami Marlins’ Giancarlo Stanton by a landslide

    Giancarlo Stanton deserves the NL MVP for carying the Marlins on his shoulders.

  •  
In this Friday, Aug. 8, 2014 photograph, Tony Stewart stands in the garage area after a practice session for the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series auto race at Watkins Glen International, in Watkins Glen N.Y.

    In My Opinion

    Greg Cote: NASCAR tragedy a result of auto racing culture

    The 65-second video is horrible and hard to watch because you know you are seeing a young man in the last seconds of his life. We all accept that auto racing can be dangerous and that the risk can even be deadly, but not like this. This jars the senses. You can’t believe what you are seeing.

Miami Herald

Join the
Discussion

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere on the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

The Miami Herald uses Facebook's commenting system. You need to log in with a Facebook account in order to comment. If you have questions about commenting with your Facebook account, click here.

Have a news tip? You can send it anonymously. Click here to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Miami Herald and el Nuevo Herald.

Hide Comments

This affects comments on all stories.

Cancel OK

  • Marketplace

Today's Circulars

  • Quick Job Search

Enter Keyword(s) Enter City Select a State Select a Category