Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Man stands up for groom’s role in wedding planning

 

Dear Abby: Why is a wedding always about the bride? Why is the groom often ignored and the occasion not about BOTH of them? I find this offensive as a man who, by tradition, is supposed to “take care of her,” but is ignored as a partner in the relationship.

The whole deal about the day being about the bride is sexist, as far as I’m concerned. Television shows like Bridezillas make men look like idiots who have no value in a marriage. What are your thoughts?

A man who matters

These shows you refer to depend on shock value to attract and sustain an audience, and some of the goings-on that are portrayed are so far-out as to be freakish. Please don’t mistake reality TV for reality because nothing could be further from the truth.

Much has changed regarding marriage customs in the last decades.

Traditionally, weddings were paid for by the parents of the bride. There was little monetary input from the groom’s family, and they did not expect to assist in the planning of the event.

Today, however, many couples postpone marriage until they are older and financially independent. They pay for their own weddings and plan them as partners.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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