In My Opinion

Greg Cote’s Super Bowl With a Smirk: Exclusive parties revel in excess

 

gcote@MiamiHerald.com

Now that the weekend is here we are reminded how celebrities and upscale, A-list parties are such a big part of any Super Bowl Week — this one perhaps more than most. After all, you know what they call New York: The City That Never Sleeps Because It Is Flying High On the Drug ‘Molly’ and Partying All Night.

The major SB parties are exclusive, or at least pricey.

DirecTV’s Super Saturday Night at Pier 40 will be hosted by Eli Manning and feature 6,000 high-end revelers and entertainment by Jay Z.

The 16th annual Playboy SB party will be aboard the “Bud Light Hotel,” a cruise ship, in an effort to out-party the rival Maxim party.

At a Leather & Laces party stretching across two nights at Liberty Theater, $30,000 gets you a cabana for 12 with nine bottles of booze and your own security detail.

The ESPN party is expected to once again feature Chris Berman inadvertently sweating into other people’s cocktails.

Journalists covering a Super Bowl judge their importance by what soirees they can get into. For example, not to brag, but Smirk has just scored an exclusive invite to the party annually hosted by the estranged half-brother of Carrot Top.

• Super Bowl halftime star Bruno Mars appeared at Rose Theater in Manhattan on Thursday to promote his appearance, in a news conference briefly derailed when a tape malfunction interrupted his lip-synched response to a question. Mars is expected to open the show with [note to self: look up names of his songs]. SB halftime shows have become as popular as the game itself, according to halftime-show producers.

• The thought occurs: If a halftime performer, a popular tennis sister and an old Dolphins running back traveled in a now-discontinued car model to a small northern Palm Beach city, they’d be Mars, Venus and Mercury driving a Saturn to Jupiter. (I’m sorry for that. I really am).

• Soprano Renee Fleming, the national anthem singer, also had a news conference as hundreds of low-brow sports writers feigned familiarity with her work.

• Undeterred, Smirk continues to track down unconfirmed reports from anonymous sources regarding the possibility of cold weather Sunday. Stay tuned.

• You may now place your Super Bowl bet and it should be on underdog Seattle, according to Eli, a 13-year-old orangutan at Hogle Zoo in Salt Lake City. Eli, who has correctly picked the past six SB winners in a row, chose the Seahawks papier mache helmet Thursday. The ape then celebrated his selection by eating the helmet.

• Several Broncos have complained about their interview sessions being aboard a gently rocking ship, the Cornucopia Majesty, while Seattle’s media time has been on land in a hotel ballroom. Sunday matchup: Seahawks vs. Seasick.

• Feds announced Thursday they had seized $21.6 million of counterfeit Super Bowl merchandise. Dear Gullible Consumer: That cut-rate T-shirt you bought with Broncos spelled with a ‘k’ — it might be a fake.

• Seattle’s Marshawn Lynch keeps blowing off his mandatory media sessions by being uncommunicative and uncooperative in brief appearances. Apparently his goal is to be even more disliked nationally than teammate Richard Sherman.

• Sherman says Peyton Manning is not strong-armed and throws “ducks.” “I do throw ducks,” admitted Manning. Super Bowls have become a hunter’s dream. In one year we’ve gone from deer antlers to ducks.

• Ranker.com calls Prince’s rained-on performance in Miami seven years ago the best SB halftime show, leading one to wonder if Ranker.com had been drinking.

• The head coaches’ news conference and commissioner Roger Goodell’s state-of-the-NFL address highlight the Friday schedule as SB media availability winds down. I just bet the “over” at 5 1/2 on number of concussion-related questions asked of Goodell.

• A poll by the Public Religion Research Institute found 19 percent of Americans believe God will determine the outcome of Sunday’s game. Am I a heathen to sooner guess that Manning might?

• Finally, the Vince Lombardi Trophy given to the Super Bowl winner is produced for Tiffany in nearby Parsippany, N.J. Tiffany says the trophy is “made by local craftspeople employing skills from the 1800s.” Smirk finds it impressive that folks so incredibly old are still making trophies.

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