Dear Abby: Our neighbors of 14 years watch our dog while we are away, which is quite often. They have free access to our home with the key we have given them.
Two months ago, the husband hit on me, really pushing the issue for me to have sex with him. Then he apologized like it was nothing. I was upset, scared, shocked and told my husband because I was concerned. My husband was not happy about it.
We have not been able to look at him or his wife (my friend) since then. We are all middle-aged. Should I tell her why we have been absent, or can you help me figure out what to do?
In need of advice
Make other plans for your dog when you travel, change the locks on your doors, and if your friend asks why you have been “absent,” tell her why. She may not like to hear it, but she should know that if your friendship with her is going to continue, it will have to be without her husband being included.
(She should have herself checked for STDs in case her husband has managed to get lucky with a neighbor who WAS willing.)
Dear Abby: I’m 31 and have been married to my husband for 2 1/2 years. He wants a baby in the worst way. I don’t, and I have been clear about it.
Abby, my husband helps with nothing. I’m constantly cleaning, doing the laundry and cooking meals. That’s OK, but I’d like some help. I have asked him many times to do things before football comes on or to take a break from Netflix and get something done. It never happens. I have been nice about it, and I have been angry.
We agreed to buy a bigger house and then have a baby, but at this rate, I already have one – MY HUSBAND! Is there any hope?
No, I don’t think so. You married a man who is lazy, or passive aggressive and angry at your refusal to have a baby, or has been so spoiled by his mother that he thinks this is a normal way to live. Counseling might help you get through to him, but I wouldn’t bet on it.