New Year’s 2014

Celebrities should make these resolutions but probably won’t

 
Stephen Lovekin / Getty Images

New Year’s is a time for reflection for many normal people. But celebrities, they’re not like us. They reflect upon themselves pretty much every day. Sometimes we wish many famous people would take the time to look inward, so we took the opportunity to do it for them. Herewith, our resolution wish list:

Kanye West: Enroll in an anger management class or two and stay off the motorcycles.

Justin Bieber: Ditch the spray paint, keep your mouth closed and your pants up.

Dean McDermott & Tori Spelling: Stop breeding and get into marriage counseling.

Phil Robertson: If you have to speak your mind, do so behind closed doors.

Dwyane Wade: For the love of all that is holy, use protection (that goes for you too: Dan Marino, Pauly D and Emile Hirsch).

Beyoncé: Donate a wing to the Kennedy Space Center.

Miley Cyrus: Stop shocking and let your music do the talking.

Lamar Odom: Stay clean and away from the video recorder.

Amanda Bynes: Write a tell-all and start a wig company.

Alec Baldwin: Buy a muzzle. Use it.

Jenna Jameson: Check yourself before you wreck yourself on national television.

Jennifer Lawrence: Scale back on the scatalogical chatter.

William Levy: Keep up the abdominal work.

Chris Brown: Behave.

Madeleine Marr

Read more People stories from the Miami Herald

  • Celebrity birthdays on Aug 1

    Actor-director Geoffrey Holder is 84. Singer Ramblin’ Jack Elliott is 83. Blues musician Robert Cray is 61. Singer Michael Penn is 56. Singer Joe Elliott of Def Leppard is 55. Rapper Chuck D of Public Enemy is 54. Rapper Coolio is 51. Singer Adam Duritz of Counting Crows is 50. Actress Tempestt Bledsoe is 41. Singer Ashley Parker Angel (O-Town) is 33.

  • Celebrity roundup

    Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Kirstie Alley no longer speak: Is it because of Scientology?

    Que paso? Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Kirstie Alley used to be so close. They met as partners on Dancing with the Stars and stayed in touch but these days they no longer speak. “She stopped getting along with me,” Chmerkovskiy told Andy Cohen on Bravo's Watch What Happens Live. “I got a message now that I am associating with other people that she can't be associated with, I am no longer to be spoken with, and sorry, but it is what it is.” Jennifer Lopez, rumored to be dating the dancer, is besties with Leah Remini, who recently left the Church of Scientology, and that perhaps doesn’t sit well with Alley, who remains loyal to Tom Cruise’s church.

  • On the shelves

    At 88, Hollywood legend Lee Grant looks back in ‘I Said Yes to Everything’

    Actress Lee Grant came that close to washing Shampoo out of her hair when co-star Warren Beatty told her how to play the scene when she learns he has seduced her character’s daughter. The matter got resolved after she spoke to the actual director, Hal Ashby, and then to Beatty again. Not only did she win an Oscar for the role, but she and Beatty became great friends, even sharing a few passionate kisses after filming ended.

Miami Herald

Join the
Discussion

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere on the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

The Miami Herald uses Facebook's commenting system. You need to log in with a Facebook account in order to comment. If you have questions about commenting with your Facebook account, click here.

Have a news tip? You can send it anonymously. Click here to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Miami Herald and el Nuevo Herald.

Hide Comments

This affects comments on all stories.

Cancel OK

  • Marketplace

Today's Circulars

  • Quick Job Search

Enter Keyword(s) Enter City Select a State Select a Category