While I’m away, readers give the advice.
Dear Carolyn: Responding to the idea that “she would be perfect if she would lose some weight,” the body you have at 30 is not the body you will have at 50, 60 or 70. I am sure my husband would love me to have the body I had when I was 25, but, after four children and several serious illnesses, I don’t. I hate to mention this, but he also doesn’t have the same body he had 30 years ago. Nor the nice full head of hair!
We have had more than 30 years of peaks (a lot!) and valleys (a few). Both of my parents have died — my father had a long, lingering illness, which was awful. We got through. Our kids have had broken bones and some serious illnesses. We worked together to meet the challenges.
You do not know what is in store — a stray microbe, a patch of oil on the street, and one of you could be disabled. It is how you meet these challenges together that matters. You need a partner who will work with you, who will see you when you are 45, or 60, and think, this is the person who makes me happy. My resting place.
You deserve this. And you do not have to be perfect (no one is!) — but being with someone who is happy with you as you are is, well, pretty darned close.