Dear Abby

Dear Abby: There are good reasons why Grandpa’s generosity varies

 

Dear Abby: I have some advice for “Lacking Why,” the girl who is wondering why the amount of allowance Grandpa gives her and her sisters varies: Stop comparing the amounts and try focusing on how attentive each of you is to your grandfather.

Do you all visit him with the same frequency? Do you write thank-you notes for his generosity? Do you phone him the same number of times each week? I suspect, as with my grandchildren, there are wide disparities. I have two grown grandkids who treat me differently and, son of a gun, I respond in kind.

Connecticut Grandma

Your explanation is one I received from other readers as well. That letter resonated with a large number of people, and what follows is a sampling of their responses:

Dear Abby: If Grandpa intends that each granddaughter receive the same sum of money by age 18, and he started giving the money to each of them at the same time, he would HAVE to give them different amounts.

Numbers guy

Dear Abby: Each year I received more money from my dad than my brothers did. Eventually I asked him why, and it turned out he felt that over the years he had helped them more in other ways. They had lived at home longer than I had, and Dad had paid for their educations while I’d had a scholarship. In his mind, he was trying to even things out.

Solved the puzzle

Dear Abby: If all the sisters agree they are being unfairly treated, they should consider pooling the gifts and dividing the total amount equally among themselves.

Wise out west

Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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