Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Husband’s peace and quiet makes wife feel discontent

 

Dear Abby: I married “Larry” five years ago, and he is good to me. I have two beautiful grandchildren who are my daughter’s. If I don’t see them once a week I miss them. (They are 2 1/2 and 16 months old.) Larry doesn’t miss the babies or want to see them once a week. Sometimes when they come to the house, he doesn’t speak to them or play with them. He says he wants his peace and quiet at the house.

Larry’s great with the babies in public. He is also good about playing with our friends’ kids. But he doesn’t want the grandchildren to spend the night here because he doesn’t want his sleep disturbed. (He can get up at 4 a.m. to go fishing, though.)

He has two sons and doesn’t mind if he hears from them only twice a year. He’s the type of person who says what he thinks without caring if it’s rude or hurtful. If you don’t like him, he can live without being friends with you. No one comes to visit us at our home.

I miss my family, my daughter and the babies. Do I leave?

Unhappy in Florida

If you are the one making all the concessions, make a list of Larry’s good qualities, and then make one that includes how he refuses to compromise, makes you feel lonely and isolated, and says things without regard to whether they are hurtful to others. Place them side by side, and you will have your answer.

Dear Abby: After recently meeting my older brother’s male roommate, a few things occurred that make me wonder if my brother is

gay. Whether he is or not doesn’t matter to me, and I don’t feel it’s my business to find out unless he chooses to share it with me.

Although I am a strong supporter of the gay and lesbian community, my concern is that because we were raised in an extremely conservative home, my brother may think I still hold those beliefs and may be reluctant to confide in me. I don’t want to make a wrong assumption about his sexuality, nor do I want to force him out of the closet before he’s ready. How can I let him know I support him, no matter what, without crossing the line?

Liberal girl in Texas

There are ways to communicate your feelings to your brother without being direct. If you are still in school, consider joining a gay/straight alliance. If you see something in the news about a gay issue, call it to his attention and say something positive. Or, if you think that might make him uncomfortable, how about giving him a hug and telling him how lucky you feel to have him as a brother and that you will love him forever? (Come to think of it, a straight sibling might also appreciate hearing it.)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Read more Lifestyle stories from the Miami Herald

  •  
A few months ago, the Desert Inn had a for-lease sign in front and looked abandoned. The restaurant has reopened under new management, and there are ambitious plans for the rest of the property.

    Yeehaw Junction

    Desert Inn to get a Wild West revival?

    Some men look at an old restaurant and ask: “Why?”

  • Southern Cross Stargazer for Aug. 31-Sept. 6

    At dusk Mercury is visible rising above the western horizon. About 8:30 p.m. a celestial triangle forms in Libra in the southwest. The moon floats beside westbound silver Saturn, above eastbound ruddy Mars. Huge Scorpius crawls toward the southwest. Antares, a red supergiant, is the heart beating in Scorpius. The stellar Teaspoon shimmers above the left handle of the Teapot.

  •  
Tallahassee is a rooted place with a sense of history, more genteel and dignified than any of the state’s other urban centers, and infinitely more Southern.

    Quick trips: Florida

    Visit Tallahassee for fine and funky food (and football)

    Boiled p-nuts. Sometimes “boiled” is spelled wrong, too. There are stands that dot the back roads of the rural Florida Panhandle, fronted by hand-lettered signs that tout the glories of the green peanut. The outskirts of Tallahassee are P-nut Central, the stands’ proprietors hunkered over burners at the back of rattletrap trucks in the hot sun. So you stop.

Miami Herald

Join the
Discussion

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere on the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

The Miami Herald uses Facebook's commenting system. You need to log in with a Facebook account in order to comment. If you have questions about commenting with your Facebook account, click here.

Have a news tip? You can send it anonymously. Click here to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Miami Herald and el Nuevo Herald.

Hide Comments

This affects comments on all stories.

Cancel OK

  • Marketplace

Today's Circulars

  • Quick Job Search

Enter Keyword(s) Enter City Select a State Select a Category