PET MONUMENT

 

$14.98 plus shipping and handling from harrietcarter.com

It's a difficult question that every pet owner must face, sooner or later: How do we memorialize our beloved animal companions after they have gone to that big Pet Supermarket in the sky?

If somebody on your holiday list is wrestling with that question, this item is the answer. This is a pet grave marker made of a scientific material called "polyresin" that has been colored to look exactly like fake stone. It will stand over your deceased pet's final resting place, so that you will have a place to pay your respects, and other neighborhood pets will have a place upon which to make weewee. It will serve as a timeless memorial to your pet, like the great pyramids of Egypt, only better, because the Egyptians did not have "polyresin."

Next gift: PRISM GLASSES

DAVE BARRY 2013 GIFT GUIDE

Read more Dave Barry Gift Guide stories from the Miami Herald

  • PERFECT POLLY

    You've probably seen the TV commercials for Perfect Polly, the battery-operated pretend parakeet manufactured in China from genuine plastic.

  • PRISM GLASSES

    These are special glasses that use an amazing scientific principle — possibly photosynthesis — to bend light beams at a 90-degree angle. This means that when you put these glasses on, instead of seeing what's in front of you, you're actually looking straight down.

  • CHICKEN BRASSIERE

    If you are not putting a brassiere on your hen (or self-mutilating parrot) (which would be a good name for a rock band) you could very well be contributing to its DEATH.

Miami Herald

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