$29.95 (with free U.S. shipping) from

Suggested by Craig Roberts of Meridian, Idaho.

Dogs keep a busy schedule. They have to go out, then they have to come back in, then they have to go back out, then they have to come back in, then they have to go back out, then they have to come back in, then they have to go back out, and then they have to come back in again. And that's just from 7 to 7:15 a.m.

Unfortunately, for most dogs, the only way to communicate to you that they need you to open the door is to scratch manually on the door, which is annoying and technologically primitive, not to mention causing low self-esteem in the dog. But now, thanks to the miracle of space-age electronics, we have the dog doorbell, which eliminates that annoying scratching and replaces it with an annoying doorbell sound that the dog makes by pressing the big yellow button with its snout. Your dog will love this amazing product, unless your dog is anything like my dog, which was terrified of it.

The dog doorbell is mounted low enough for dogs to use it, which means it would also be a great gift for anybody who sometimes parties a little too hard and arrives home unable to walk erect. We are not saying that Mr. Keith Richards is a devoted user of this doorbell. But neither are we saying that he isn't.



Read more Dave Barry Gift Guide stories from the Miami Herald


    It's a difficult question that every pet owner must face, sooner or later: How do we memorialize our beloved animal companions after they have gone to that big Pet Supermarket in the sky?


    Why does your chicken need a diaper?


    $11.09 (price may vary) plus shipping and handling from

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