BRAIN GAMES FOR DOGS

 

$9.99 plus shipping and handling from harrietcarter.com

Do you have a dog? Is it stupid? Of course it is! That's why we call it a "dog." We're talking about a species whose highest biological priority — higher than eating, finding shelter or protecting its young — is sniffing other dogs in the butt.

If that sounds like your dog, or a dog on your holiday gift list, then you need Brain Games for Dogs. This book is a tremendous training tool. You give your dog a command — any command — and if it fails to obey immediately, you simply strike it with this book.

No! That was a joke! Please do not write angry letters containing misspelled words to the editor. In fact this is an excellent book, filled with helpful information on how to teach your dog many tricks and games, such as Fetch, Push the Door Closed and Balance a Treat. Notice we say "your dog." Our personal dog is not interested in learning any of these things. Our dog's unspoken but clear position is, "I am an old dog, and these are new tricks." Our dog would no more push the door closed than do our income taxes.

Next gift: CAT LADY ACTION FIGURE

DAVE BARRY 2013 GIFT GUIDE

Read more Dave Barry Gift Guide stories from the Miami Herald

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