Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Wife hoping for baby wants husband to stop using drugs

 

Dear Abby: My husband and I want to start a family, but until now our circumstances have not made this possible. After a big move and starting a new business, we have decided it's about time.

My problem is my husband uses drugs to relieve stress. I don't feel he abuses them; it just takes the edge off after a hard day's work like a glass of wine does for me sometimes.

I would like him to stop taking the drugs while we are trying to conceive in case it could affect the baby. He is unwilling and it makes me crazy. I have decided that if he can't do this, he isn't ready to be a father. On the other hand, he's a hard worker, and I wonder if by asking him to do this I am being selfish. Please give me some advice.

Ready for Motherhood in Mississippi

You are NOT being selfish, you are being prudent. According to Dr. June Reinisch, director emerita of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction: "There is some evidence that suggests certain drugs can attach to the sperm and therefore affect the fetus. So the best plan for a healthy baby would be for the man to be as 'clean' as possible before he starts to make a child. This is because sperm are produced about three months before they are released."

Dear Abby: Well, here is a new one on me. I was walking through a Macy's looking for my wife, and right there in front of me was a 40-something woman in her bra trying on a blouse! Is this the new normal?

Greg in Gainesville

It's unusual, but not unheard of — particularly if all of the dressing rooms are in use. In order to prevent this from happening again, avert your eyes when you're in the women's department.

.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069

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