You think you have pent-up aggressions? Pffft! You’ve got nothing on the cast of the Real Housewives of Miami, who turned their Bravo reunion special Monday night into something resembling a diamond-bedazzled cage fight. There are almost too many feuds to track, but we’ll try:
Joanna Krupa laid into Lisa Hochstein after the boob goddess told host Andy Cohen that nobody in Miami has a job and basically just sleeps in and parties. Speaking of partying, Krupa “went below the belt” by telling Hochstein that if she took better care of herself (are we to infer substance abuse?) she wouldn’t have so many problems conceiving a baby. Tears followed, plus the B-word.
Adriana De Moura accused Krupa’s husband Romain Zago of being gay because of the couple’s very public bedroom issues and then really went for the jugular, relaying that Beverly Hills Housewife Brandi Glanville is telling anyone who would listen that Krupa had destroyed the marriage between Yolanda Foster and Mohamed Hadid, who attended Krupa’s wedding. “Home wrecker!” the Brazilian art dealer shouted at the model, who claimed she is just friends with Hadid, who Tweeted the same.
But De Moura got hers. Lea Black is still so incensed by her former friend turned “con artist’s” duplicity (pretending she was single when she was married to Frederic Marq) that she stood up and produced the checks that had gone to De Moura’s son’s education. “Sit down,” Cohen commanded. “I’m over this conversation.”
The weirdest spat was out of left field, when Krupa’s makeup artist Tony (we’re trying to find out his last name) began to insult Hochstein backstage calling her a, um, lady of the evening. The dude’s over-the-top cattiness may net a RHOM spinoff or at the least, a walk-on role. Bravo loves mean.
Tune in to Part II of Reunion Rage 9 p.m. Thursday, when Marysol Patton joins in on the fun.
Steve Martorano is trading in the subtropics for NYC cold Thursday, but it’s all for a worthy cause: to show viewers of NBC’s Today show how to make a slammin’ turkey dinner, Italian-American style. Meatball salad, anyone?
In other foodie news, chef/restaurateur Lorena Garcia is debuting her Lorena Bella Kitchen Collection Thursday on HSN. “This line is designed with the home cook in mind,” Garcia said from a launch party at her Wynwood studio. “Every tool represents a solution in the kitchen.”