Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Divorcee wants traditional proposal

 

Dear Abby: I am a divorcee in my 40s who is in a committed relationship with a man who is also divorced. Neither of our marriages were happy ones. We stayed in them for all the wrong reasons. We have been together for three years, live together, love each other unconditionally and have talked extensively about getting married.

My question is, am I wrong to expect a traditional proposal with an engagement ring? It is important to me that he would think enough of me to plan one. I feel if he did it for his first wife, he should do the same — or more — for me. Would it be in bad taste to mention this?

Asking Too Much? in Pennsylvania

Express your feelings. He may not be aware that you would feel somehow cheated if he doesn’t come forth with a gesture that is "equal or better" than what his ex received. I would only suggest that when you express yourself your thoughts are couched as a request and not a demand.

Dear Abby: : Enlighten me, please. A friend told me her daughter is expecting. She has not said one word about a boyfriend or marriage. How do I diplomatically ask, "Who is the father?"

Is this now "none of my business"? The grandma-to-be has offered no clue. Can you help me out?

Out of the Loop Out West

If Grandma-to-be is keeping mum, you can bet there’s a reason. If the father was Prince Harry, she would be trumpeting it from the rooftops. Your friend may not know who the father is or have some other reason for not disclosing it. Unless you want to tiptoe through a minefield, my advice is don’t go there.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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