Dear Abby: I am 20 years old and in jail. My ex-girlfriend recently had a baby. I left her during her pregnancy. We had been together for two years, but things just weren’t working.
I told her I still wanted to be in my daughter’s life after she had the baby, but she left and went to North Carolina. After I was incarcerated, I lost contact with her. She said I can be a part of my daughter’s life only if we have a family and get back together.
I’m willing to do that, but I won’t be out of jail for five more months, and I have no way to contact her. How do I go about it, Abby?
Loves My Baby Girl
When your ex said what she did, she was using the baby to manipulate you into doing what she wanted. Because your relationship “wasn’t working,” I would caution you against having any more children with her.
When you are released, she may come after you for child support, or if she applies for benefits in North Carolina, the state may do that. That would be one way of pinpointing where she is. You could also search for her online. However, if you can’t locate her any other way, you may have to hire a private detective when you can afford one.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.