Abysmal marries Dismal and they have a child named Crap. I think that would about describe my last week, when I someow managed to be below .500 against the spread AND straight-up. Do you know how difficult that is? I did get the Dolphins-Falcons game right and I also had Colts-with-points over Niners and, um, ah, that would just about do it for the highlight reel. Did I mention I picked the Giants to win a game they lost, 38-0? Lets move on. Quickly, please! [Note: Thursday-game pick was 49ers (-3) over Rams, 24-17].
Line: NO by 6 1/2.
Cotes pick: NO 34-20.
TV: 8:30 p.m. Monday, ESPN (airing in South Florida).
Frankly there are better Week 4 matchups Id peg more likely for closer games Seahawks-Texans and Patriots-Falcons come to mind but I can hardly be accused of playing the homer card in giving the Game of the Week nod to a pair of 3-0 teams merging on a Monday stage. I only wish I could give Miami much of a chance to get to 4-0 for the first time since 1995 in its record 79th MNF appearance. But I cant. I dont. It isnt that I think the Dolphins are a fluke; Miami should be one of the 75.4 percent majority of 3-0 teams that go on to make the playoffs. No, it is that Drew Brees seems all but unstoppable, and doubly so at home. He has eight straight 300-yard games and also is on an 8-0 run on Mondays, with a 24-5 TD/pick ratio and a 120.6 rating over that span. The Dolphins also tend to have trouble with other teams tight ends, and the ex-Cane Jimmy Graham happens to be a one-man wrecking ball, with 313 receiving yards in past two games. Factor the possibility both DT Paul Soliai and DE Cam Wake could miss the game injured and I just cant see Miami keeping the Saints under 30. This is the Dolphins big chance to barge into the national conversation. Alas, the likelihood of a rout seems greater to me than the chance of an upset.
Line: DET by 3.
Cotes pick: CHI 27-24.
TV: 1 p.m., FOX (airing in South Florida).
AAAWWWK! yodels the Upset Bird, coptering over this game as a vulture might hover over carrion. Marc Trestmaawwk! New coach Marc Trestmaawwk I mean Trestman has the Bears believing, but series trends predating his arrival make me like Chitown here. Bears have beaten Motown in nine of past 10, with 27 takeaways. My big concern about this call isnt that Detroit should have Reggie Bush back. It is that the Windies might not have CB Charles Tillman (groin), who is one of the few guys with a positive history covering Calvin Johnson. Indeed, Megatron poses a concern, admits U-Bird. Nevertheless: Chicaaawwwk!
Line: PIT by 1 1/2.
Cotes pick: PIT 23-20.
TV: 1 p.m., CBS (airing in South Florida).
Hello, London! Will you forgive us turning Wembley Stadium into Winless Stadium? Actually there is at least one NFL game this week Id much less rather watch than this one (nothing personal, Cardinals-Bucs), but the Dog committee simply could not resist the weeks only clash of 0-3s. Luckily, Steelers-Vikings seems like a great matchup to most Brits, wo dont know any better. Pittsburgh and Minnesota are going from country to country until they find one they can win in. QB Christian Ponder (ribs) is iffy for Purples, helping tilt the pick.