Dear Abby: While I was out of town, my husband, “Miles,” ran into his high school girlfriend at a party hosted by good friends of ours. She has been through a bad divorce, and Miles insists his desire to keep in touch with her is merely concern for a dear friend. Until I put a stop to it, he was calling her every night, talking with her for at least an hour at a time. He said there was nothing more to it.
I have now insisted that he call her only once a week and in my presence. He’s complying, but it distresses me to hear him enjoy the conversation so much. Miles truly cares about her and she makes him laugh. He says he loves only me and will never leave me. He’s a good man and I believe him, but …
How should I handle this? I don’t want to forbid him to talk to her, but I am feeling very insecure. Am I foolish to let their contact continue? We have been married 30 years.
Threatened in Kentucky
Tell your husband you know he loves you, has good morals and would never leave you, but that you feel intimidated his renewed relationship with his high school sweetheart. Tell him you know he is kindhearted, but for YOUR mental health to please consider winding down these conversations. And it would be a kindness for him to recommend a counselor to his friend to help her resolve her issues.