Dear Abby: I’m writing about the letter you printed from ”Somewhere in the South” (May 26) who heard someone confess to a crime he had committed at age 12 during one of his Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meetings. The person asked if he should go to the police. You advised him to talk about it to the “group leader.”
Abby, in a 12-step program, there is no formal leader who has a responsibility to report anything to the authorities. There are usually discussion groups led by someone chosen for the night.
I am not condoning what the person did at that young age. It was a horrible act. But 12-step programs are based on ANONYMITY. Reporting what is heard at meetings is completely against what 12-step meetings are all about. It was unfair of you to place responsibility on someone who is there for his own addiction to tell on another group member.
Anonymous in the USA
I received a ton of criticism for my response to that letter. Readers like you wrote to point out that I was misinformed about how these programs work; others berated me for not insisting the writer notify the police immediately.
I was and still am of two minds on the question. While it would be satisfying to see “justice done,” I could not bring myself to recommend going against the principle upon which these 12-step programs that have helped thousands of people is based. Another principle of these programs is that people who have hurt others must make amends for what they have done. However, this is the responsibility of the person who committed the crime — not someone who overheard mention of it at a meeting.