Dear Mr. Snowden,
I see in the press that you’re considering asylum in Venezuela. If that’s true, I’d like to make you a business proposal. I think you and I could make millions of dollars here using your new expertise on applying for asylum abroad.
You’ll soon see that there are thousands of Venezuelans who would love to flee and start over in other countries. Long lines of people hoping to snag visas or passports form each morning outside the U.S. and European embassies in Caracas. After you arrive, we could counsel them on the best way to leave.
Don’t get me wrong. Venezuela is a great country, with friendly people and breathtaking natural beauty. There are Caribbean beaches and snow-capped mountains in the Andes. We should take a road trip: Gasoline costs just 1 cent a gallon. But you might have trouble buying a new car. At the very least, you’ll need patience. Soldiers, police officers and government officials have first dibs.
OK, so it’s not the United States. But I’ve been here for the last 21 years, and I love it. Still, Venezuela isn’t for everyone.
If you’re under the impression that you’re going to be living out the rest of your days in a tropical paradise, think twice before you board that plane to Caracas. And you might want to bring along your own toilet paper.
We’re in the 15th year of a revolution that late President Hugo Chávez began in 1999. Yes, extreme poverty has been reduced as his supporters claim, but that has been accomplished at a cost.
The economy is gutted. The government has expropriated dozens of private companies whose production always seems to fall after their seizure. Today, while walking in my neighborhood, I saw long lines of people stretching out of a government-owned supermarket. They were waiting to buy cooking oil, sugar, chicken – simple staple goods. Food shortages are common. Pack a comfortable pair of shoes if you want to buy coffee, meat, flour, cornmeal or pasta.
Now, you probably have saved a little money from that ample salary at Booz Allen Hamilton. But if it’s not in cash, and because the U.S. government is probably watching your checking account, you’re going to be in trouble. Prices are soaring here. The inflation rate for the first six months of the year reached 25 percent. Over the past year, it has been nearly 40 percent. If you find employment, make sure you’re paid in dollars and that you immediately make contacts on the black market. The official exchange you’ll be given is 6.3 bolvars to the dollar. The black market rate is 33 bolivars to the dollar and rising — as local currency has lost nearly all its value.
Good luck finding an apartment. A new law regulating the housing market, which makes it nigh impossible to dislodge renters, means that few owners want to lease their apartments. And even if you end up living in a ritzy neighborhood, you’ll want to consider some security (and not just to keep away those pesky Navy SEAL extraction teams).
How can I put this? Think about dying your hair black and working on your tan. You look way too white, which makes you an easy mark for criminals. And criminals abound. Caracas has the highest murder rate of any capital city in the world, and crime and kidnappings are soaring. When the sun goes down, it’s best to be at home, but even that is no guarantee of safety.