• Ray Lewis plans to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro next month, after previously doing the metaphorical equivalent in his life and career.
• Sentences I Never Imagined Writing (one in a series): Receiver Plaxico Burress, who spent 20 months in prison on a gun charge, has come out with a line of luxury mens socks.
• St. Louis signed undrafted offensive lineman Terrell Brown, who is 6-10 and 403 pounds. Finally! Somebody whos slower than me, Manti Teo said.
The French Open is under way, with Maria Sharapova and Rafael Nadal the defending champs. Nadal and top-ranked Novak Djokovic appear on the same half of the bracket. Thats what happens when you put Roger Federer in charge of the draw.
• UM baseball hoped to attract an NCAA regional hosts role on the strength of its performance in the Atlantic Coast Conference tournament. Wild guess that 10-0 and 7-1 losses werent what coach Jim Morris had in mind.
• The Cleveland Cavaliers won the lottery for next months top draft pick. Owner Dan Gilbert and his son credit their lucky bowties. I think Id rather be unlucky.
• Charlottes awful NBA team is changing its name from Bobcats back to Hornets in an effort to avoid creditors.
• The Marlins, who have lost nine games by shutout and are 0-12 at home with the roof closed, signed a reliever with perfect surname for a team at the bottom of standings: Duane Below.
• Alex Rodriguez sold his Miami waterfront mansion for $30 million. Reminds me of my own house, other than his being 51,000 square feet bigger and having nine bedrooms, 11 baths and a zen garden.
• Giants pitcher Jeremy Affeldt says in a new book he once was homophobic but isnt now. I dont care about that. Im too busy wondering how a mediocre middle reliever gets a book deal.
• Sergio Garcia made a fried chicken reference to needle Tiger Woods as their discord escalated, rendering Garcia guilty of both a racist comment and a lame cliché.
• David Beckham is retiring. What a big, big loss for the sport of underwear modeling.
• Golf is outlawing those long, anchored putters that many pros use. I wish golf would outlaw the putter I use thats always three-putting greens.
• Parting thought: The Reds Aroldis Chapman blew a save after reportedly eating 18 Cuban pastries before the game. Chapman later tested positive for a PDG, performance-diminishing guava.
Visit Gregs Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog daily at MiamiHerald.com and follow on Twitter @gregcote and on Instagram/upsetbird.