Dear Abby: I have a friend who I believe is having an affair. I have no concrete evidence, only a slew of circumstantial evidence such as odd work hours, blocks of mystery time set aside at night in his cellphone’s day planner, and evading questions about texts from females.
I have no idea how to approach him, or if I even should. I wouldn’t know how to begin the conversation with him because I have no solid proof. I always considered him to be a decent individual, but in the back of my mind now I’m thinking, “He’s cheating on his wife!” What makes me uneasy is that it’s all based on my hunch. I’m usually pretty good with my hunches, though.
Nick in New England
What are you doing going through your friend’s cellphone day planner and reading his texts? He doesn’t have to account to you for his time. For all you know the man may be in a 12-step program or a therapy group. If he wanted you to know what he’s doing, he would tell you. Right now the “friendliest” thing you can do is mind your own business.
Dear Abby: After my best friend of more than 20 years, I’ll call him Tim, told me his wife had cheated on him, I confessed that I am in love with him. Tim announced that he has been in love with me all this time.
A friend told me I’m committing adultery with Tim because he is now in the process of leaving his cheating wife for me. Am I? We haven’t been intimate, nor do we plan to sleep with each other until the divorce is final.
Conflicted in California
If Tim has been in love with you all these years, he couldn’t have had much of a marriage. His wife’s infidelity was his “get out of jail” ticket and he took it. I don’t know what your “friend’s” definition of adultery is, but according to Webster’s dictionary, you’re not committing it.