dear abby

Dear Abby: Dad’s hands-on approach makes girl uncomfortable

 

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


Dear Abby: I’m a 13-year-old girl who has been trying to give my father a second chance. I was taken away from my parents when I was 8 because they were on drugs. I haven’t seen my father for three years, but now that he’s living with my grandparents and me.

He has been very “hand-sy” with me — giving me massages, kissing my cheek — and this all makes me very uncomfortable. Today as I was leaving to go to my mom’s, he slapped my butt as I walked out the door. Now I’m scared. I spend a lot of the day at home with him alone. I don’t want things to get out of hand. Any advice?

Worried in Delaware

Your father has lost three years with you. He may not realize that his “little girl” is no longer a child. That is why it is important that you TELL him what he’s doing makes you uncomfortable. You should also tell your mother and grandparents about what’s happening and that it scares you. If he persists, report it to a teacher.

Dear Abby: I have a dilemma. I work in a small high school in a student support position. Girls come into my office who are pregnant and excited about it! Telling them congratulations for putting themselves in this position seems counterproductive, or like I am endorsing this choice. I don’t!

I feel like saying, “You have ruined your life” instead, but I hold my tongue. What do you suggest?

Don’t want to encourage them in Illinois

Your job is to support the students, not to condemn or endorse their predicament. Telling a pregnant girl she has ruined her life isn’t helpful. What you need to do is encourage the girl to get a diploma while she can.

If you are enthusiastic about helping them, your positive attitude may be contagious and inspire them to succeed.

Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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