carolyn hax

Carolyn Hax: Should new ‘single’ go on couples trip?


Dear Carolyn: I was supposed to go on a trip with some friends that, not by design but by fate, just worked out to be a couples’ trip consisting of four pairs sharing a house. Then I broke up with my boyfriend, unexpectedly, this month.

A trip with friends is probably just what I need, but (perhaps I’m being a baby) I’m nervous about how I will feel being surrounded by all those happy couples, watching everyone go off to bed together at the end of the night while I sleep alone. What do you think — go, or bail? If I bail, I’ll still pay my share.


Part of this is about your friends, who have it in their power not to treat you as “other.” Presumably you know at least some of them well enough to project how (un)fazed they’ll be about this.

The bigger part is about you. Being the single around a bunch of couples can be liberating, if you let it. They go off together at the end of the night while you get to leave your reading light on, fall asleep watching stupid TV, eat loud snacks or do whatever else you enjoy but would be a sensory nuisance to the person on the other side of the bed.

Also, if these couples are generally happy together, their company can create a relatively tension-free environment, where you don’t have to worry about a whole lot of distracting social undercurrents.

If you’re still feeling too raw to enjoy yourself, sure, opt out — but that’s more about how you feel than who else is going.

Email Carolyn at or follow her on Facebook at

Read more Lifestyle stories from the Miami Herald

Miami Herald

Join the

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere on the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

The Miami Herald uses Facebook's commenting system. You need to log in with a Facebook account in order to comment. If you have questions about commenting with your Facebook account, click here.

Have a news tip? You can send it anonymously. Click here to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Miami Herald and el Nuevo Herald.

Hide Comments

This affects comments on all stories.

Cancel OK

  • Marketplace

Today's Circulars

  • Quick Job Search

Enter Keyword(s) Enter City Select a State Select a Category