dear abby

Dear Abby: Neighbor’s critical husband creates friction in friends

 

Dear Abby: My friend “Eden” recently told me her husband constantly compares her to me. It came up because she asked how I was feeling in my first trimester of pregnancy, and I confided that I have been having a tough time keeping up with my household duties.

Instead of sympathizing, she said, “Wow! I’ll have to tell my husband that, because he’s always talking about how clean your house is and how you cook dinner for your family every night.”

I was really hurt that she was taking pleasure in my failures. I also felt uncomfortable that her husband compares her unfavorably to me. It isn’t the first time she has mentioned how he talks about me.

I have distanced myself, hoping things would get better, but when I see her, she invariably manages to get in a little “dig.” I’m unsure how to handle this. We’re neighbors and have mutual friends. I thought we were friends, but now I realize she harbors some resentment toward me for something I didn’t cause. Help!

No contest in Maryland

Unless Eden’s husband stops using you as the cudgel to beat her down with, you can forget being friends. A way to handle it would be to talk to her husband and say, “Please stop comparing me to your wife because it is affecting our friendship!”

To my Jewish readers: Why is tonight different from every other night? Because Passover begins at sundown. Happy Passover, everyone!

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Read more Lifestyle stories from the Miami Herald

  •  
 <span class="cutline_leadin">Tigerman</span>. Nick Harkaway. Knopf. 352 pages. $26.95.

    Fiction

    ‘The Sergeant’ finds a bold alter ego in Nick Harkaway’s ‘Tigerman’

    A British civil servant on an island destined for destruction finds a bold alter ego in this comic masterpiece.

  •  
Diver Frank Notte gets ready to go over the side of the St. Nicholas VII and demonstrate old-fashioned sponge harvesting on the Anclote River in Tarpon Springs.

    Tarpon Springs

    Dive into Greek culture on the Florida coast? Opa!

    First we saw a few bubbles. Then so many that the water seemed to boil. Next appeared a bulbous brass helmet, big as a beach ball, trailing a long rubber hose. A human hand clasped the side of the wooden boat. A minute later, the diver had climbed back aboard the St. Nicholas VII. Clad in traditional early-20th-century diving getup, he appeared to have stepped directly from a Jules Verne novel.

  •  
Gena Barr, outreach coordinator for the University of Miami Health System's Division of Adolescent Medicine, demonstrates how she conducts a urine sample test that determines the presence of STDs. Barr, 39, has been working at the UM clinic since 2004. “I just wanted to help people in the community," she said, adding added that the clinic, located at the Coordinated Victims Assistance Center which primarily serves domestic abuse victims, gave her the opportunity.

    Healthcare

    STDs are on the rise in Miami-Dade

    Cases of chlamydia and syphilis have almost doubled in the last seven years, causing concern and speculation about the increase.

Miami Herald

Join the
Discussion

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere on the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

The Miami Herald uses Facebook's commenting system. You need to log in with a Facebook account in order to comment. If you have questions about commenting with your Facebook account, click here.

Have a news tip? You can send it anonymously. Click here to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Miami Herald and el Nuevo Herald.

Hide Comments

This affects comments on all stories.

Cancel OK

  • Marketplace

Today's Circulars

  • Quick Job Search

Enter Keyword(s) Enter City Select a State Select a Category