Feeding your worst fears

By DAVE BARRY

(This Dave Barry column was originally published March 29, 1998.)

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Read more Dave Barry stories from the Miami Herald

Happy trails to you

There's nothing like taking your family on a camping trip-getting away from civilization, sleeping under the open sky, looking up into the heavens and gazing upon an awe-inspiring vista of millions and millions of ... what ARE those things? Bats? Very large mosquitoes? Oh NO! They've taken little Ashley!
The class-conscious diet

My favorite part of The New York Times (motto: ''No Longer Making Things Up, As Far As We Know'') is a weekly section that reports on things that trendy New Yorkers are doing. This section is called Sunday Styles, because it would be rude to come right out and call it Rich Twits on Parade.
Mr. Language Person: Weird word problems

Once again, our glands are swollen with pride as we present ''Ask Mister Language Person,'' the column that answers your common questions about grammar, punctuation and sheep diseases. Mister Language Person is the only authority who has been formally recognized by the American Association of English Teachers On Medication. (''Hey!'' were their exact words. ''It's YOU!'')

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