Dear Abby: I met a man 15 years ago who has recently come back into my life. I hadn’t seen him in years. He says he wants to be with me and marry me, and I very much would like to be his wife. I live in one state, he lives in another and his work is in yet another state. some.
The problem is I think he’s married to his job. He says he wants to be home with me once we are married. But then he says that once his work slows down, he won’t earn as much.
I’m not sure how I can do this, with him working in one state and living in another. Sometimes I wonder if he’s really in love with me or if he’s stringing me along. How can I be with him if I never see him?
If a “little voice” is telling you this man may be stringing you along, make no hasty decisions. It’s important that you visit him at his home at least a few times, get to know his friends and family, if he has any, and see how you would fit in.
You also need to decide how you would spend your “alone” time while he’s working. If you are an independent type, you’ll be able to fill the time. But if you’re not, then face the fact that as much as you care for him, you’d be miserable. So look before you leap to the altar.
Dear Abby: My dear friend, God rest her soul, had a saying I think everyone could benefit from:
“You are the master of the unspoken word. Once it is spoken, it is your master forever.”
Your dear friend was a smart woman. Too many times we say things that we wish we could take back. The same is true for the written word.