Dear Abby: I am self-conscious about my weight, my face, my personality. I’m not pretty. I have heard so many times I should “just be myself” that I am sick of it! I don’t want to be myself.

Coming up short in Oregon

Stop being your own worst enemy. The more you dwell on what you think you lack, the more you will amplify those things. Find one thing you like about yourself and build from there.

Because you’re self-conscious about your weight, adopt a healthy eating and exercise plan. While you may not be a cover girl, you can be well-groomed. More important than being “witty” is to be a good listener.

The more you think about helping others, the less time you will have to think about yourself.

Dear Abby: My wife and I are in our mid-40s and have four beautiful daughters. A boy who dated one of them has become a family friend over the past few years.

“Brett” is a nice young man and has always been helpful with our family. The problem is, Brett texts and calls my wife on a daily basis. The conversation is benign, but I can tell he has a crush on her.

I have asked my wife to stop communicating with him so often, but she insists it’s “just a friendship” and nothing is going on. Should I let this go or continue to insist that their relationship be redefined?

Uneasy in Florida

Looking from the outside in, I suspect that your wife is enjoying all the attention she’s receiving from this young man. She’s in her mid-40s and it has to be flattering. So step back, find your sense of humor and try to be less heavy-handed until this blows over. Because it will.