Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Mom of four musters courage to leave abusive marriage

 

Dear Abby: I have lived in an abusive marriage for 11 years. Now, when I have finally mustered the courage to leave, everybody says I must stay “for the children” as he is a “changed man.”

I no longer love him and he refuses to give me a divorce. He also refuses to admit there is anything wrong in the marriage and says I’m exaggerating everything.

I have tried counseling and therapy alone because he refused to join me. I do not want my four children to be affected by my choice and wish for a mutual discussion, but he doesn’t want to discuss divorce. I am afraid to stay and afraid to leave. I have no support system here.

Wants out in Illinois

After 11 years of abuse and counseling and therapy alone because your husband would not accompany you, his wishes should no longer affect your decision. Pick up the phone and contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 800-799-7233. That’s the place to find information about how to form an escape plan for yourself and your children. Whether your husband is willing to discuss divorce or not, he cannot force you to remain married to him. An attorney can help you with the process once you are out of there.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Read more Lifestyle stories from the Miami Herald

  •  
 <span class="cutline_leadin">Meatless Wednesday:</span> Tortellini and fresh spinach cook directly in a broth perked up with white wine and garlic. The soup makes an easy, midweek family meal.

    Seven-day menu planner

    Plan your meals a week at a time or pick and choose your favorites. Each meal comes with a shopping list.

  • Ask Nancy

    Ask Nancy: My mother won’t listen to her doctors

    Q. My sister and I are constantly taking my 86-year-old mother to the doctor for her real and/or imagined problems and the doctor will make suggestions or prescribe treatments. She either disagrees with what the doctor says and requests to see a different doctor, or decides that she doesn’t want to do the treatment or take the medicine. How do we get her to comply with what the doctors prescribe?

  •  
 <span class="cutline_leadin">Chef’s knife:</span> Chef Tom Azar prefers to use an 8-inch chef’s knife, sharp, in his kitchens.

    Cooking

    A cut above: Sharp knives are a home cook’s greatest tool

    For home cooks, buying the right knives is only half the game. Proper storage and professional sharpening also are key.

Miami Herald

Join the
Discussion

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere on the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

The Miami Herald uses Facebook's commenting system. You need to log in with a Facebook account in order to comment. If you have questions about commenting with your Facebook account, click here.

Have a news tip? You can send it anonymously. Click here to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Miami Herald and el Nuevo Herald.

Hide Comments

This affects comments on all stories.

Cancel OK

  • Marketplace

Today's Circulars

  • Quick Job Search

Enter Keyword(s) Enter City Select a State Select a Category