Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Sister in open marriage takes sharing too far

 

Dear Abby: My daughters are attractive young women, both doing well in their professional careers. “Melanie,” who is 27, is married to “Sam,” an extremely attractive and successful man.

My 30-year-old daughter, “Alicia,” has been divorced for a year. Her marriage failed two years ago because she and her husband had an appetite for sex outside their marriage. I was horrified to learn that Melanie allows her sister to occasionally have sex with Sam.

Melanie’s argument is that Sam is less likely to cheat given this situation. When I asked her and Sam about it, he said it wasn’t his idea. I am distraught about this mess. Melanie says she wants to start a family soon. She says she loves Sam, who can “handle everything,” and she enjoys seeing “everyone happy.” She says Alicia won’t sleep around now and, maybe, one day she’ll marry a handsome man like Sam who will “return the favor”!

I can’t believe these girls are my daughters. Should I continue to protest or let it go?

Heartbroken mom in Florida

Your daughters appear to be into the concept of open marriage. Clearly, they do not view marriage and relationships the same way you do.

Melanie is naive to think that encouraging Sam to have a sexual relationship with her sister will discourage him from seeking other partners. Far from it. And as for her wanting to start a family, has she considered what will happen if her husband impregnates Alicia at the same time — or first?

But back to your question: Are you right to protest? You certainly are. That’s what mothers are for — to inject a dose of sanity when everyone around her is losing theirs.

Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Read more Lifestyle stories from the Miami Herald

  •  
 <span class="cutline_leadin">Tigerman</span>. Nick Harkaway. Knopf. 352 pages. $26.95.

    Fiction

    ‘The Sergeant’ finds a bold alter ego in Nick Harkaway’s ‘Tigerman’

    A British civil servant on an island destined for destruction finds a bold alter ego in this comic masterpiece.

  •  
Diver Frank Notte gets ready to go over the side of the St. Nicholas VII and demonstrate old-fashioned sponge harvesting on the Anclote River in Tarpon Springs.

    Tarpon Springs

    Dive into Greek culture on the Florida coast? Opa!

    First we saw a few bubbles. Then so many that the water seemed to boil. Next appeared a bulbous brass helmet, big as a beach ball, trailing a long rubber hose. A human hand clasped the side of the wooden boat. A minute later, the diver had climbed back aboard the St. Nicholas VII. Clad in traditional early-20th-century diving getup, he appeared to have stepped directly from a Jules Verne novel.

  •  
Gena Barr, outreach coordinator for the University of Miami Health System's Division of Adolescent Medicine, demonstrates how she conducts a urine sample test that determines the presence of STDs. Barr, 39, has been working at the UM clinic since 2004. “I just wanted to help people in the community," she said, adding added that the clinic, located at the Coordinated Victims Assistance Center which primarily serves domestic abuse victims, gave her the opportunity.

    Healthcare

    STDs are on the rise in Miami-Dade

    Cases of chlamydia and syphilis have almost doubled in the last seven years, causing concern and speculation about the increase.

Miami Herald

Join the
Discussion

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere on the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

The Miami Herald uses Facebook's commenting system. You need to log in with a Facebook account in order to comment. If you have questions about commenting with your Facebook account, click here.

Have a news tip? You can send it anonymously. Click here to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Miami Herald and el Nuevo Herald.

Hide Comments

This affects comments on all stories.

Cancel OK

  • Marketplace

Today's Circulars

  • Quick Job Search

Enter Keyword(s) Enter City Select a State Select a Category