Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Couple’s lack of intimacy is relationship’s only flaw

 

Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for about a year. He was a virgin when we met. Three months into the relationship we had sex. I am 18 and he is 21.

We used to have sex often, but now he is completely uninterested in anything sexual. I feel like he isn’t attracted to me anymore, although I haven’t changed much since we started dating.

Other than sex, we have a great relationship. We haven’t had a single fight, but it hurts my feelings that he doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore. What’s the solution to our problem?

Teen in St. George, Utah

Have a frank, non-confrontational talk with your boyfriend and ask him what has changed. It may be that the novelty wore off. He may have a low sex drive, or he may be interested in women only as friends. But you will never know until you ask him. When you do, let him know that whatever his answer is, you care about him and you hope he feels the same way about you.

Dear Abby: My 31-year-old daughter, “Layla,” is beautiful, accomplished and earns a good living. She has a lot of friends and always has a boyfriend. She has had both long-term and short-term relationships.

Layla isn’t married and hopes to meet the right person. I’m very anxious about it, but this is her life and her choice. People constantly ask, “How’s your daughter? Is she seeing anyone?” And when I meet someone for the first time who asks about my children, the second question they ask is, “Is she married?” (They don’t ask that about my son.)

This is painful for me. What should I say in response to this omnipresent question?

Layla’s Mom

All you have to do is smile and say: “My daughter is single, loves her job and is quite successful. Now tell me about YOUR children.”

Dear Abby: I have been divorced for eight years. My daughter is learning how to drive. In her mother’s car, while under her mother’s supervision, she hit their garage door.

My ex believes I should pay half the cost of the new garage door. Also, she did a total upgrade, turning the entrance to the garage into one large door instead of two. I say I shouldn’t have to pay. She says if it was someone else’s house we would pay. I agree, but it is not, and my ex-wife was in the car — not me.

Who pays? in California

She pays. It should not be your responsibility to foot half the bill for an upgrade to your ex’s garage door, particularly because she was the one who was with your daughter when the accident occurred. Don’t let her bamboozle you.

Dear Abby: I’m not too tall or too short. I’m not overweight or too thin. I never receive comments about my appearance that cause me to be sensitive. My husband doesn’t drink, abuse me or stray. I have had no problems through the years with family members, neighbors or co-workers. My grown children are thoughtful, considerate and loving. Even my in-laws love me.

So tell me, did you ever receive a letter such as this?

Joy in San Diego

Not in recent history. And it’s probably because people regard my column as a place to dump their troubles rather than share their many blessings, as you have done today.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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