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This time around, GoDaddy had Israeli supermodel Bar Refaeli making out with a pimply cybergeek for a full and very noisy 10 seconds. (Best Twitter crack of the night: The ad’s audio “was actually the sound of two eels fighting over a soft-boiled egg.”)
A GoDaddy press release revealed that it took 65 takes to get the kissing right, due no doubt to regular interruptions while Refaeli projectile vomited and screamed for death and an escape from an empty and godless universe.
To be perfectly fair, some anthropologists will probably argue that the most egregiously deviant sexual pairing of the night was not Refaeli and the nerd but Glee’s Naya Rivera and an M&M, who sang Meat Loaf’s I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That) through an escalating series of erotic actions that climaxed with her trying to stuff him into an oven atop of a batch of brownies.
The bizarre nature of most of the ads made it seem almost hallucinatory when a funny one popped up. I don’t exactly understand why The Big Bang Theory’s hottie waitress Kaley Cuoco was a wizard granting wishes to Toyota buyers, but I couldn’t help laughing when she misheard a request for “infinite wishes” as “infinite witches” and the air was suddenly filled with broomsticks.
(Cuoco also got the second-best line of the night when, in a promo for her show, she whispered to her Cal Tech nerd boyfriend, who dressed in a football uniform for the commercial, that the cup is worn on the inside.)
At least the ads were more interesting than the leaden CBS commentary during the game’s 35-minute blackout.
Four decades ago, during its telecasts of the Bobby Fischer-Boris Spassky chess matches, PBS had a color commentator named Shelby Lyman who had to talk for literally hours between moves. CBS could have used him Sunday.
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