The climate complicates things more. Fans and media want to believe the unbelievable so badly, it is as if we are all drugged, too. We love pure miracles, so football’s MVP award went to Adrian Peterson after an unprecedented comeback when it should probably just go to science instead. And we’ll howl with betrayal if he hastened his recovery with something banned. We want our make-believe to be real, damn it, even though this is all just entertainment, and the entire from-standing-ovation-to-finger-wagging journey is like watching a Disney movie stopped mid-reel to have one of the cartoons pee in a cup.
Hurts, too, that we in the media often have no idea what the hell we are clucking about, reporting on things with the seriousness of politics while standing outside a circus tent. It was uproarious to watch this deer antler controversy blow up during a wacky Super Bowl Media Day usually reserved for reporters dressed as bumble bees. You had ESPN somberly breaking the news, and Sports Illustrated lending its credibility to a former male stripper/accuser, while reporters asked Lewis about his Madden video-game commercials and his dance moves. Later in the week, as the sale of deer antler spray exploded, the former male stripper showed up at radio row in a sleeveless shirt to change his story. He did this while holding actual deer antlers.
It isn’t hard to understand why athletes skirt the rules. With just two syllables, Armstrong gave voice to the modern athlete’s conundrum during his televised confessional.
Did blood doping feel wrong?
Did you feel bad about it?
This isn’t because he was consciously immoral. He was literally just trying to keep up, his doctors against the other guy’s doctors, the cyclist taking an ambiguous moral stand literally trailing by miles the ones who weren’t. It becomes so much clearer with hindsight, after the consequences have fallen on your head, Armstrong saying, “I know it a thousand times more now.” But back when steroids were medicine saving baseball, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa didn’t run around the bases thinking they were raging frauds fooling all of America. They were just using advanced medicine as a supplement, trying to gain an edge as athletes always do, healing the aches and not having any earthly idea of the size of the consequences in the distance because consequences had not yet befallen anyone in their sport for doing what everyone else was doing. Ten years from now, blood spinning or human growth hormone or the modern-day ephedrine equivalent might feel more like steroids — obvious and overt — than they do to the athletes “cheating” with them today.
The mind can do a lot of rationalizing. We don’t often see the size of consequences until we or someone else experience them. We all know it is wrong to text and drive, right? But we don’t know just how wrong it can be until we’ve harmed or killed someone. You’d have to guess that football is slathered in human growth hormone, given the size of the athletes, but there is no testing, so the guys using it probably don’t think they are cheating the same way baseball’s steroid users did. There is too much money and glory and competitiveness in sports for athletes to not have the world’s best doctors looking for all the healing loopholes in the gray areas that surround the bans.
But you have to admit we’ve arrived in a barbaric, confusing place when the following is true: Destroying your body by cutting off your finger or playing with a catheter in your penis is not against the rules, but using some kind of deer antler spray to speed up healing is, and we spend a lot more time questioning the morality of athletes than we do the morality of the athletic culture or its rules.