Other Views

COURTESY

Hey, that’s not a proper greeting

 
 

STABINER
STABINER
STABINER

karenstabiner.com

Here’s an analogy: In Steven Soderbergh’s film Contagion, a healthcare official being harassed by a venal blogger blurts: “Blogging isn’t writing. It’s graffiti with punctuation.” OK, I don’t entirely agree with him, but that’s beside the point. He’s talking about the good that comes from considering how you say what you say, about the happy synergy of discipline and communication.

My problem with “hey,” I guess, is that it doesn’t tell me much. I like considered variety, which to me is real democracy in action. Everyone gets what fits, from “Hi, kiddo” for someone I’m trying to cheer up to “Dear First-and-Last Name,” because for me the standard honorifics all fall short, and what if a stranger has a genderless name like Dana? A friend calls me her “little chicken,” which might not sound like much of a compliment to you, but I wear it like wings; it’s mine and mine alone.

I say, have a little fun. Make a conscious choice. Be a true rebel, tied neither to the old nor the new. Try “Excuse me, So-and-So, do you have a moment to talk?” Or use a title for starters and wait for the gracious, “Oh, just call me Mike.”

I’ve waited for years for a language expert to identify the person I think of as Speaker Zero, that teen (probably female, given the way this has played out) who first tilted her sentences to rise in inquiry at the end and spawned a trend big enough to have a name — uptalk — and virulent enough to have infected the occasional big-issue sound bite. But language moves fast, in waves, and by the time somebody with a research grant gets interested in “hey,” it will surely have been replaced by the next greeting du jour.

My imagination doesn’t stretch far enough to guess what that will be. I’ll settle for being grateful if, unlike bell-bottoms, the Stallonian “yo” never gets a second chance.

©2013 Los Angeles Times

Read more Other Views stories from the Miami Herald

  •  

WRIGHT

    MIAMI HERALD MOVE

    Miami Herald memories from the kitchen to the newsroom

    As I walked into The Miami Herald at its Biscayne Bay location for the last time last week, I pictured all of the characters who entered and exited the building like a stage during its half-century run.

  •  

FREISLER

    NEW TRAVEL RULES

    Leaving Castro’s Cuba behind

    The first wave of Cubans — many of them for the first time in 50 years — are leaving their island to see the world. Among them the famous blogger Yoani Sánchez. They seize the opportunity of Cuba’s new travel law which went into effect earlier this year. Finally.

  •  

PADRON

    HIGHER EDUCATION

    Pell grants for poor students can change lives so let’s fix the system not dynamite it

    We read a great deal lately about the high cost of education, and as sequestration goes into effect the discussion often turns to eliminating taxpayers’ dollars from education.

Miami Herald

Join the
Discussion

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere on the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

The Miami Herald uses Facebook's commenting system. You need to log in with a Facebook account in order to comment. If you have questions about commenting with your Facebook account, click here.

Have a news tip? You can send it anonymously. Click here to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Miami Herald and el Nuevo Herald.

Hide Comments

This affects comments on all stories.

Cancel OK

  • Videos

  • Quick Job Search

Enter Keyword(s) Enter City Select a State Select a Category