Greg Cote

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Random Evidence of a Cluttered Mind

Heat-Lakers must-see TV, but not why you think

 

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Today: Serena Williams’ place in tennis history. With the sport’s first major of the year, the Australian Open, starting Monday, here is how Palm Beach Gardens’ Williams ranks among all-time women’s leaders in most major singles championships won:

Majors Player Time span
22Steffi Graf1987-99
18Chris Evert1974-86
18Martina Navratilova1978-90
15Serena Williams1999-current
9Monica Seles1990-96

Note: Serena won Wimbledon and U.S. Open in 2012, giving her five Wimbledons, five Australians, four U.S. Opens and one French.


What South Florida sports fans are talking about:

1. NFL PLAYOFFS

Last two spots in final four to be decided Sunday: Both NFC games look like too-close-to-call coin flips, but the two AFC games seem like clear choices. I mean, Denver-New England in the AFC title game — Peyton Manning vs. Tom Brady — is a foregone conclusion, right? (Unless the Broncos lost Saturday. Then I take it all back.)

2. HEAT

Defending champ still seeking remedy for road woes: Miami fell 7-8 away from home and lost four of five on the road entering Saturday’s game at Sacramento, none of which would be an issue if half of all games were not required to be played on the road. Heat used to have a Road Warrior mentality. At some point, the Road Warriors became Road Worriers.

3. NHL

Panthers prepare for hockey as lockout ends: Camps are opening and Panthers’ season starts at home Saturday vs. Carolina. Commissioner Gary Bettman apologized to fans for the lockout, but why? The 48-game schedule is perfect. Hockey lovers are happy it’s back. The rest of us leapfrogged 34 meaningless games to get to the playoffs sooner.

4. BASEBALL

Hall says no to Bonds, Clemens … and everyone else: For first time since 1996, no one got into the Hall of Fame, with Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens notably rejected. The majority who didn’t want them in likely didn’t include Hall officials now trying to convince fans to come to Cooperstown this summer to watch nobody inducted.

5. BCS CHAMPIONSHIP

Alabama still reveling in Tide’s triumph: Bama fans are still celebrating the title Nick Saban’s team won by routing Notre Dame six days ago in Miami. I don’t wanna say Alabama is a conservative state, but upon its return, the team got a 21-million-gun salute and a governor’s proclamation declaring Bama the best team in the entire Confederacy.

By Greg Cote

gcote@miamiherald.com

• Brazilian prostitutes are being given English lessons in advance of hosting soccer’s 2014 World Cup. Hmm. Isn’t their profession sort of a universal language? A man pays money, then after a little while he shouts, “Gooooaaaaalllll!”

• Former Dolphins executive Bill Parcells made the cut to 15 finalists for football’s Hall of Fame induction. See. A man can survive drafting Pat White, after all!

•  Lance Armstrong’s big interview with Oprah is to air this Thursday. He is expected to acknowledge performance-enhancing drug use and admit his shame. The good news? The Oprah Winfrey Network attracts less than one-tenth the audience her old syndicated TV show used to, so it’ll be their little secret!

• The PGA Tour season got under way amid howling wind in Hawaii. Conditions were crazy. Put it this way: The flagstick on the 14th green set a world record in the javelin.

• Those Redskins fans known as “Hogettes” — men who wore dresses and pig snouts — are retiring, it was reported on their website. And I’m not sure which is more ridiculous. That they wore dresses and pig snouts, or that they have a website. (I am envisioning a very sad retirement party attended only by the Hogettes and Fireman Ed.)

• Film director Quentin Tarantino claims his mother dated Wilt Chamberlain. No one who has either seen a Tarantino movie or read Wilt’s autobiography was the least bit surprised.

• Sentences I Never Imagined Writing (one in a series): The Spurs’ Stephen Steven Jackson hurt an ankle when he ran into a waitress taking a courtside order from New York mayor Michael Bloomberg.

•  Phil Jackson got engaged to longtime girlfriend and Lakers executive Jeanie Buss. Wonder if he gave her one of his 11 championship rings?

•  Carmelo Anthony was suspended one game for waiting at the Celtics team bus to confront Kevin Garnett. Better he should have been made to drive the bus for a day wearing a Ralph Kramden hat.

•  Parting thought: Major League Baseball soon will begin in-season testing for human growth hormone (HGH). Players will be tested at random, or if they gain more than 30 pounds between at-bats.

Visit Greg’s Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog daily at MiamiHerald.com and follow on Twitter @gregcote.

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Greg Cote
gcote@miamiherald.com
Known for his wit and sharp insight, Greg Cote has been a Herald sports columnist since 1995. He previously covered the Dolphins, University of Miami football and major sports events including Super Bowls, the World Cup and the Barcelona Olympics. Cote and his infamous 'Upset Bird' present the ever-popular NFL predictions page every Friday during football season. More

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