Marlon Wayans could never live in Miami. Never.

“You guys have too many clubs, too much going out, too much night life,” he says from The W South Beach Hotel. “That would be dangerous.”

The youngest of the famed Wayans siblings (10 in all) prefers to spend his time in a more, um, fulfilling way: making movies.

Out Friday: A Haunted House, a sendup of the found-footage horror flicks of the past few years.

“We were going to call it Paranormal Blacktivity, but we didn’t think that would work,” joked Wayans, who also produced the first two Scary Movie spoofs.

As leading man, writer and producer, Wayans had to deal with costars who weren’t there: ghosts.

Not to give too much away, but in one scene, Wayans is “taken advantage of” by an evil spirit.

It was tough for the cast — which includes Cedric the Entertainer as a priest — not to crack up.

“We got giddy,” admitted Wayans. “I’d pinch myself to try to stay in character. I’d think of the most serious things so I wouldn’t laugh.,”

But it all came together, like a warped symphony.

“You know Guns ’N Roses when they did their first album? We were like that,” said Wayans, 40. “I was Slash on the guitar, and then Cedric came in. We were like a band of great musicians.”

The native New Yorker admits some of the more R-rated scenes “went there.”

“I’m a sick little puppy. I have a deformed brain,” the In Living Color alum admitted. “When I was born, my mother just laughed, and I dropped out on my deformed head.”

The fascination with horror movies came early. Top pick of all time has to be Nightmare on Elm Street.

“I didn’t want to go to sleep after seeing that. I was the only 8-year-old drinking coffee.”

Wayans also has a serious side, if you can believe it (anyone remember Requiem for a Dream?).

Ideal costar: Denzel Washington.

“I’d love to work with him. He’s always good. Denzel drunk in an airplane? No problem. Does he want to work with me? I doubt it, no. He’d work with my brother, Damon, maybe, but not me.”

Speaking of his huge family, Wayans is likely relieved the holidays are over.

“Every year we rent out AmericanAirlines Arena,” he joked. “We do potluck, put the food out and then the war begins. Every man for himself!”

Madeleine Marr