POTATO-CHIP-GRABBING HAND

 
 
 
 
BOB EIGHMIE / FOR THE HERALD

$3.50 (price includes shipping and handling) from BestOfferBuy.com, 2A Jalan Ayer, Singapore 389141; www.bestofferbuy.com

Submitted by Jon Harris of Christiansburg, Va.

Is there anything worse than getting your hands greasy from using them to manually pick up potato chips?

OK, yes, there are worse things. Cholera is one example. But greasy hands are no picnic, and that’s why everybody on your gift list will be thrilled to receive this grabbing hand, which despite its low price is actually made from genuine plastic. In addition to picking up chips, it can be used to feed dangerous animals, or perform delicate medical operations when you don’t want to touch the patient directly. It’s also handy for shaking hands with people whom you suspect of having poor hygiene. It is our understanding that Donald Trump carries this item wherever he goes. Especially the bathroom.

Next gift: ARTIFICIAL GRASS FLIP-FLOPS

DAVE BARRY 2012 GIFT GUIDE

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