POTATO-CHIP-GRABBING HAND

 
 
 
 
BOB EIGHMIE / FOR THE HERALD

$3.50 (price includes shipping and handling) from BestOfferBuy.com, 2A Jalan Ayer, Singapore 389141; www.bestofferbuy.com

Submitted by Jon Harris of Christiansburg, Va.

Is there anything worse than getting your hands greasy from using them to manually pick up potato chips?

OK, yes, there are worse things. Cholera is one example. But greasy hands are no picnic, and that’s why everybody on your gift list will be thrilled to receive this grabbing hand, which despite its low price is actually made from genuine plastic. In addition to picking up chips, it can be used to feed dangerous animals, or perform delicate medical operations when you don’t want to touch the patient directly. It’s also handy for shaking hands with people whom you suspect of having poor hygiene. It is our understanding that Donald Trump carries this item wherever he goes. Especially the bathroom.

Next gift: ARTIFICIAL GRASS FLIP-FLOPS

DAVE BARRY 2012 GIFT GUIDE

Read more Dave Barry Gift Guide stories from the Miami Herald

  • PET MONUMENT

    It's a difficult question that every pet owner must face, sooner or later: How do we memorialize our beloved animal companions after they have gone to that big Pet Supermarket in the sky?

  • CHICKEN DIAPERS

    Why does your chicken need a diaper?

  • CAT LADY ACTION FIGURE

    $11.09 (price may vary) plus shipping and handling from amazon.com

Miami Herald

Join the
Discussion

The Miami Herald is pleased to provide this opportunity to share information, experiences and observations about what's in the news. Some of the comments may be reprinted elsewhere on the site or in the newspaper. We encourage lively, open debate on the issues of the day, and ask that you refrain from profanity, hate speech, personal comments and remarks that are off point. Thank you for taking the time to offer your thoughts.

The Miami Herald uses Facebook's commenting system. You need to log in with a Facebook account in order to comment. If you have questions about commenting with your Facebook account, click here.

Have a news tip? You can send it anonymously. Click here to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Miami Herald and el Nuevo Herald.

Hide Comments

This affects comments on all stories.

Cancel OK

  • Marketplace

Today's Circulars

  • Quick Job Search

Enter Keyword(s) Enter City Select a State Select a Category