Line: Off board.

Cote’s pick: PHI 23-20.

TV: 8:30 p.m. Monday, ESPN.

As most know our Dog game is the lousiest matchup, having nothing to do with a betting ’dog, and we rarely look to Monday because that stage seems to dress every game in fancy clothes. But not this one. How are the poor MNF guys going to fake enthusiasm here!? All that compels watching is morbid curiosity. Carolina is bad. Philly, with six consecutive losses, may be worse. Fact: The Phillies have won a game since the Eagles have. Phils also are 1-8-1 against the spread; good thing there’s no spread because of QB matter. Looked as if rookie Nick Foles would go because of Mike Vick’s concussion. RB LeSean McCoy also seemed very iffy for Birds. There’s a phase for someone like me who nonetheless likes the homies here: Glutton for punishment.

VIKINGS (6-4) at BEARS (7-3)

Line: Off board.

Cote’s pick: CHI 20-17.

TV: 1 p.m., Fox.

Yet another off-the-boarder, this one on the status of Bears QB Jay Cutler. A concussion made him a legit-questionable to play, and, although Cutler isn’t having a great year, the drop-off to Jason Campbell is steep. That’s partly why I’m being a wimp and opting for Chitown here, against a gut feeling. Mark it down: Bears O-line is an omnishambles, and Vikes coming off a bye have an XXL upset shot.

RAIDERS (3-7) at BENGALS (5-5)

Line: CIN by 8 1/2.

Cote’s pick: CIN 28-24.

TV: 1 p.m., CBS.

I keep expecting Al Davis to come back from the dead just to complain about how bad the Raiders (still) are and maybe fire somebody. But at the same time I like Oakland — with ex-Bengal Carson Palmer making his first return to Cincy — getting this many points. Yeah, Oaks are 1-4 on the road. But Palmer has pitched for 1,094 yards in three wins, and this is the game he’s had circled all season.

STEELERS (6-4) at BROWNS (2-8)

Line: Off board.

Cote’s pick: PIT 19-17.

TV: 1 p.m., CBS.

Our latest off-board game should not have been because it was clear all week that old veteran Charlie Batch would sub for injured Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger. That’s a steep falloff, even with Plaxico Burress back in the fold. Clevers have all the emotional incentive here in a series Pitt has dominated including a 10-1 run in Ohio. But stubborn me still likes a Steelers D that has not allowed an offensive TD in seven quarters.

BILLS (4-6) at COLTS (6-4)

Line: IND by 3.

Cote’s pick: IND 27-23.

TV: 1 p.m., CBS.

Indy has started to build some home-field muscle (4-1), Andrew Luck is hardly playing like a rookie and so make this a venue call in what feels like a tossup game. Luck, with more passing yards through 10 games than any rookie ever, should keep it flying against a mediocre Buffs pass D. Nags also are precarious in the playoff hunt and simply must have a winnable home date like this one.

BRONCOS (7-3) at CHIEFS (1-9)

Line: DEN by 10 1/2.

Cote’s pick: DEN 34-10.

TV: 1 p.m., CBS.

Well, cows WILL fly at some point. But not now. And the NFL equivalent of that mighty be a Chiefs upset here. Once-proud KC is 0-5 at Arrowhead. Denver has won five in a row. Chiefs have lost seven in a row. Peyton Manning will have his way. The Broncos’ defense should dominate. Are you beginning to sense a pattern here? Almost forgot to mention. Brady Quinn will start over Matt Cassel. Um, is that good thing?