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Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Daughter needs to find out what future with boyfriend holds

 

Dear Abby: My daughter, “Renee,” is 25 and an intelligent and independent woman with a good job. She has been with her boyfriend, “Bryan,” for 6 1/2 years. They have been living together for the past two years.

Bryan is nice and has a decent job, and I like him. However, there is no conversation between them about what their future together holds. Renee would like to get engaged, but she refuses to bring anything up to Bryan for fear that he will feel “pushed.”

I’d like to take Bryan aside and say that I love my daughter and would like to know what his intentions are. Is that totally inappropriate in this day and age?

Mama on a mission

You are well-meaning, but this is one mission your daughter must complete for herself. Please tell her that after a relationship of six years — and living together for two of them — having a rational discussion with Bryan would not be “pushy.” And frankly, if the romance is leading nowhere, Renee needs to know before she invests any more time.

Dear Abby: My niece is engaged to a really nice guy who is obviously gay and in denial because of his religion. My brother and his wife ignore it because, according to them, being gay is a “sin.”

I had a gathering at my home, and some gay friends attended. They noticed that he was gay and mentioned it to me. Should I just stand by and keep my mouth shut?

Unsure in New Jersey

Yes, you should. Unless you are 100 percent sure the man is, in fact, gay, you should keep your feelings to yourself. Your niece’s fiance may be an effeminate straight man.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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