Dear Carolyn: I’m a senior in high school. One of my best friends was diagnosed with clinical depression when we were freshmen. It’s been up and down — she’s on medication and has been to therapy.

We don’t have classes together this year, and I hadn’t seen her for a while. A week ago I finally got a chance to catch up with her.

Turns out she had been cutting herself. She said her parents noticed and her doctor put her on a new “mood-stabilizer,” which she said seemed to be working. I was upset for so many reasons.

I know that if someone is displaying suicidal/self-destructive behavior I should tell an adult, but she’s already receiving help. I’m also upset because we haven’t spent time together this year. Is it possible her worsening is my fault?

Worried

The good news: You always have someone to talk to — you and anyone else, about your friend or anyone else, about cutting or anything else.

The list of resources starts with your parents. Unless you don’t trust them (in all senses of the word), lean on them. Next on the list, your school’s counselor, or a trusted teacher.

For anything else that arises, bookmark Columbia University’s excellent Go Ask Alice! website (http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/health-resources).

As for your being responsible for your friend’s decline, please know that serious conditions like hers don’t trace easily to one person, one cause, one choice or even one health issue. Extremes are eye-catching, but avoid them anyway: Don’t run away from her, and don’t try to rescue her, either. Just line up your own support and be the friend who listens to her.

Dear Carolyn: I have seen my share of friends get divorced. Usually, I just try to be supportive of the closer friend and civil/polite to the soon-to-be ex.

However, my most recent friends to divorce are very close, lifelong family friends, and the fallout of this divorce has me questioning whether it is possible to remain friends with both. After years of trying to stay out of their conflict, I am ready to throw my hands up and take a stand, which will mean losing a friend I’ve had since college. She is just so angry at me for not taking her side against the ex. Any advice?

Friends With Both

I Those who have been mistreated by a spouse often feel betrayed twice over when they see friends who know what happened remain chummy with that spouse after the marriage dissolves.

So before you take any kind of stand, use everything you know to make as objective a decision as possible about who deserves your support more.

If your digging produces no other answer than that both friends deserve your loyalty, then you need to say that explicitly to your just-so-angry friend.